Among the Ruins
by Merlin71
Summary: The team falls ill and Sheppard and Beckett will do whatever it takes to save them. Whumpage abounds. Carson displaces Rodney on the team this time. Due to circumstances beyond my control. Heee.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own them. Don't sue

* * *

There was too much silence.

It crept up on John and kept him feeling jumpy. He wasn't used to feeling jumpy. Glancing over at the others, he could tell they were feeling it too, but no one commented on it. No one said anything at all. They just plodded on over the - barely there - pathway, eyes locked on each step they took in the fast dimming light.

John looked over at Beckett who was cursing beneath his breath as they trudged along. "You okay, doc?" he asked.

Carson shook his head. "No...not really. I hate this, Colonel. I'm not meant for fieldwork. Not to mention the fact that this planet gives me the creeps. Everything looks gray and dead and it's too bloody quiet!"

Okay, so now someone had commented on it, but John found himself wincing. Beckett's raised voice echoed hollowly around them, too sharp and too loud. John found himself having to resist the urge to shush the man. Instead he replied, "You could have sent Dr. Phelps in your place," knowing the reaction he would get. And he wasn't disappointed.

"I'm the CMO of Atlantis!" Carson exploded. "We have injured men and they need my attention!"

John reached over and patted his arm, hoping the action would calm the good doctor down a bit. Beckett's unease was palpable. "Of course they do," he said softly, infusing his voice with a touch of charm. "And I'm glad you're here, especially given the fact that we don't know what we'll find." Which bothered John more than he would admit, even to himself.

Major Lorne's team had come to this planet two days ago. The moment they had stepped through the gate, Atlantis had lost contact with them. Six hours ago, Lorne finally made it back through the gate, barely conscious. One of his team had died and the other marine and the scientist assigned to him were trapped in some ruins, which is where John and his team were heading now. Lorne passed out before he could offer more and they didn't have time to wait for him to wake up. So here they were. On their way to the ruins, pointedly aware of the fact that they were now out of radio contact with Atlantis. Not that John didn't keep trying every twenty minutes. He or Teyla.

Carson heaved a sigh. "I wish Rodney were here. He whines louder than I do, so I don't sound like such a wimp."

"I wish he was here too," John allowed. He almost always felt better when McKay was with them. If the man couldn't figure out how to fix a problem or solve it, he could figure out how to make whatever solution someone came up with work. But Rodney was needed on the Daedalus at the moment. John had planned on bringing Zelenka until a power outage meant the Czech was needed on Atlantis. So John's team now consisted of himself, Teyla, Ronon, a marine named Billings, a med assistant named Kirby, and Beckett. Everyone was weighed down with various medical cases and supplies. Ronon and Billings - who was built like a Mountain and almost made Ronon seem small in comparison - both carried foldaway stretchers on their backs. Along with heavy cases in both hands. Beckett liked to be prepared.

"How much further do you think?" Carson queried, and he was panting a bit as he climbed over a broken tree limb.

John had been peering ahead and he spotted something. He grabbed his binocular, held them to his eyes for a moment then announced, "Not far. Another ten minutes and we'll be there." John stuffed the binoculars back in his pocket then patted Beckett on the shoulder. "Almost there, doc."

Carson nodded then heaved a sigh of what sounded like relief before picking up his pace a bit.

They continued on in silence until they reached the ruins. The sky was a dark grey now and John ordered everyone to turn on the lights they were carrying. Then he led the way in and it didn't take long to realize there was only one way to go. Down and straight the way. Parts of what must have been a stone temple of some kind had crumpled, blocking off what looked like doorways. So John skirted around them, figuring the others had to have done the same. The air felt a bit chilled and smelled sort of musty and John was glad he was wearing his jacket. "Everyone okay back there?" he called out.

He was pleased when everyone responded with an affirmative, although Beckett's was a bit hesitant. "You still with me, doc?" John asked over his shoulder, knowing that Beckett was right behind him. He could hear the man's heavy tread and his panting breaths. John thought he was breathing hard more from fear than from the exertion.

"Still with you for now," Carson allowed. "I wish we could see better."

"You may get your wish," John stated, as he narrowed his gaze. Ahead of him was a golden glow spilling out of a jagged archway. It was still the only clear path so they had to follow it, but John found himself muttering beneath his breath, "Don't go into the light..." as he continued on, P90 at the ready.

To John's relief, the light appeared to be an almost phosphoresce, only brighter than seemed logical. Not that logic had a lot to do with most things in the Pegasus galaxy, at least not from John's experience since arriving. He felt a bit suspicious of the glow, but it did help being able to see and Beckett was very vocal about his appreciation of it.

Ronon made a few attempts at trying to catch some of the light in his hands, without success. "Never seen anything like that before," he stated.

"Me either," John allowed, then he looked at Teyla. "You?"

"No." She looked as uncertain about it as he felt, but John figured they could worry about it later. Right now they had to reach the injured men. Now that they could see better, John studied their surroundings. They were in a rounded chamber-like room. There were two other doorways but one was blocked. "Guess we go this way," John said, heading for the open one. He found himself feeling relieved when the glowing light extended before him. They could move much faster now.

As they continued on, John realized the temperature was warming the deeper in they went. The air didn't smell as musty either. He sniffed hard and realized that there was a flowery scent, something that reminded him of lavender. Before John could comment on it he heard Ronon call out,

"TEYLA!"

John turned in time to see Beckett make a grab for Teyla as her knees buckled. Running to them John focused on Teyla's face. She looked flushed and her eyes were heavy-lidded. "Doc?" John asked, turning to Beckett.

Carson was checking her vitals. "Give me a minute." He lightly patted Teyla's cheek. "Lass...can you open your eyes?"

Teyla's eyes fluttered open and she appeared to have difficulty focusing. "Wh-what?" she mumbled.

"Take it easy," Carson cautioned, one hand on her wrist, checking her pulse. "Can you describe what you're feeling?"

"Dizzy..." Teyla whispered. "Hot..." She waved one hand near her face.

Carson frowned then said to John, "She is a bit flushed."

Ronon was hovering close by. "It is warm in here," he rumbled.

John looked at him then noticed that Billings was also nodding. "Doc, what's going on?" John prompted. And his concern ratched up a bit when Kirby put his two cents worth in.

"I'm not feeling so good either." As he spoke, Kirby yanked down the zipper of his shirt. "It's really hot in here."

"It's not that hot," John spoke up, his eyes on Beckett. "Are you hot?"

Carson frowned. "It's warmer than it was but not hot. I'm comfortable enough." He focused on Teyla. "Let's get you settled more comfortably and give you a bit of water, maybe that will help." He was frowning as he moved to help Teyla to her feet.

John stood to help him and they got Teyla settled and John grabbed her water bottle. She looked better after a few sips but still weak. John made a decision. "Kirby, you stay with Teyla. The rest of us will continue on to find the others." John could see that Beckett was reluctant to leave Teyla, even though Kirby was a trusted member of his med team. John patted his shoulder. "Come on, doc. You've got other patients waiting."

"Of course." Carson patted Teyla's shoulder then stood up. "Rest and we'll be back soon." As he moved to join John he muttered, "I'll be glad to get the bloody hell out of this place."

"I couldn't agree with you more," John conceded, as they headed on. They picked up their pace and John realized the glowing light was fading. Then, abruptly, it was gone and he was back to using the light on his P90. So he slowed their pace again, feeling like the darkness was crowding him. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and John resisted the urge to scratch them. His gut was telling him something was wrong. A moment later he stumbled, caught himself, focused his light on the ground and had to swallow a gasp. He recognized the body he had tripped over. One of Lorne's team. Shifting his light, John found the other marine. He moved to that one and felt for a pulse. Nothing. John cursed beneath his breath then turned back to find Beckett checking the first body. They locked eyes and Beckett shook his head. "Any idea what killed them?" John asked, rising to his feet.

Carson sighed and shook his head. "Not a clue. We need to bring the bodies back to Atlantis for an autopsy."

John was about to reply but was interrupted when Billings suddenly cried out. John shone his light on the man and the big guy was clutching his chest. Then he crashed to his knees and toppled over. John could have sworn the ground under his feet shook.

"Bloody hell!" Carson hissed, scrambling over to the downed man's side. He checked for a pulse and muttered to himself, then announced, "He's dead."

"What the hell?" John's gut instincts were twisting into knots. He looked over to Ronon, shining his light. The Satedan was stumbling. John moved to him, grabbing his arm for support. "Let's get the backpack off you." He slid it off and Ronon managed to hold his stance.

Carson moved to check him. "He's got a fever."

John had a bad feeling about this place. "Let's get back to Teyla. We'll worry about Billings later." He kept his grip on Ronon's arm and guided them back out. He welcomed the light when it appeared again and he got the feeling it was better to stay in the light. John felt Ronon stumble again and he removed his hand in favor of slinging Ronon's arm over his shoulders while he gripped his waist. John had to brace himself against Ronon's shift in weight against him "A little help here, doc!" John called out.

"Aye!" Carson moved to Ronon's other side and his support helped balance them.

"Ready?" John asked, looking up at Ronon.

Ronon merely nodded, head flopping forward.

John grunted and pulled and they continued on, shuffling along. Ronon weighed a ton. But they reached the area where they had left Teyla and Kirby and the moment they were close enough to spot them, John knew things had just gone from bad to worse. They shifted Ronon down against the wall then John ran over to Teyla while Carson checked on Kirby. Both of them lay in crumpled heaps. "Teyla's alive!" John couldn't keep the relief out of his voice.

"Kirby's dead." Carson sounded frustrated and frightened. He got up and moved to Teyla's side. "I don't know what to do for them. I have no way of checking what's wrong."

"Some kind of virus maybe?" John guessed. "Whatever it is, it's fast acting," he added, as he slid off his own pack then shrugged off his jacket to make a pillow for Teyla's head. He then moved Kirby's body off to the side and covered it with a blanket.

Carson was still checking Teyla. "Why isn't it affecting us then?" he countered.

John considered it and he had only one thought. "We have the gene." It was a long shot but it was all they had. And like the time the virus broke out on Atlantis, John found himself grateful for it. The gene had kept him immune then too.

"Could be the answer," Carson allowed. "So what do we do? We can't carry them back to Atlantis."

"Good point." John moved to Ronon, grabbing a blanket to tuck under the Satedan's head only to find himself flying across the room as Ronon backhanded him. John hit the wall hard enough to take his breath away, but scrambled back up to his feet and made a dive at Ronon. Luckily the big guy was weak and John was able to pin him down. "I could use a little help here, doc!" John shouted, as Ronon tried to buck him off.

Carson was frozen to the spot. "What do you want me to do?"

John cursed then hissed out, "Sedate him!"

"I don't know if I should!" But even as he spoke, Carson was fumbling with his med kit.

"I don't think we have a choice!" John shot back, wincing as his ribs protested his movement, but Ronon was still fighting back.

Carson ran over, fell to his knees, gripped Ronon's shoulder and plunged the needle home. A moment later Ronon went still.

John sighed with relief and rolled off him, one hand pressing against his side. "That was not fun." He saw Beckett eyeing him with concern. "I'm fine, just a little bruised."

"Seeing as how I'm the doctor, I'll be the judge of that." Carson moved towards John with determination glinting in his blue eyes.

"Worry about Ronon and Teyla," John protested, trying to back away. But Beckett advanced until John, literally, had his back up against the wall. So he huffed in frustration but let the doc fuss over him, all the while trying to hide a grimace as he was poked and prodded.

Carson did not look happy. "Could have a cracked rib. I'll bind it for you and give you something for the pain."

John tried to shoo him away. "I'm fine, just leave it till we get back to Atlantis." John pointed at Ronon and Teyla. "They come first. Take care of them while I head back out and make contact with Atlantis. I'll have a team come in Hazmat suits."

"Fine." Carson didn't look happy but he accepted the truth of John's words. "At least take a few aspirin. No need to suffer more than you need too." He held out the packet of pills.

"Deal." John accepted them, tore it open, popped the pills in his mouth then swallowed them down with a few swigs from his water bottle. "Keep a close eye on Ronon. Keep him sedated if you have too." He raised a hand when he could see Beckett about to protest. "I don't want to come back here and find you broken," John said firmly. He watched Carson nod then he grabbed his back, shrugged it on carefully, reclipped his P90 and headed out. Only he hadn't gone far when he found his way blocked. The thing being, John knew that this was the way they had come. He turned in another direction, searching for another doorway but there was nothing for it but to go back to where Beckett and the others waited.

Carson looked surprised to see John. "You can't have made it to the gate and back already. You've only been gone about twenty minutes.

John nodded. "I know. The way is blocked."

"What?" Carson was on his feet and he looked stunned. "That can't be. There was only one way to go?"

"I know, and it's blocked." John rubbed his temples, trying to ease the ache that was forming. Not only that, but he was beginning to feel hot now, so maybe they weren't so immune after all. John took another swig of water then he studied Beckett. The man looked at flushed as John felt. He knew they didn't have a lot of time on their side. "I'll have to go the other way."

Carson shook his head. "You can't. We don't know what's out there other than something that killed three men."

John gritted his teeth. He knew how bad things were, but it wasn't as if he had any other options. They were on their own; their only hope was to get help from Atlantis, which meant him finding a way out and back to the gate. The clock was ticking. "If you have any other ideas then bring them on, I'm all ears."

"Bloody hell!" Carson looked ready to burst but he brought himself under control and said softly, "Guess you'd better hurry."

"I'll be back as soon as I can," John promised. He clapped Beckett on the shoulder, took one last look at Teyla and Ronon, then he headed on his way.


	2. Chapter 2

John had to force himself to keep going forward. He wanted to turn around and haul ass back to Beckett and the others. No way in hell did he want to head back into the darkness he knew awaited him, with the bodies of his fallen men. But John knew he had no choice and he reminded himself of that fact, repeatedly.

He knew when the darkness would appear, or so he thought. He knew he was near the area where the golden, glowing, light had faded abruptly last time. And it did seem to be dimming, but remained just bright enough to guide his way. Bright enough for him to see the downed bodies of Billings and the others. Once again John felt the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He wished he had brought blankets to cover the bodies, but there was nothing for it so he stepped over them and continued on.

The farther along he went, the brighter it got. Brighter yet, oddly, cooler. John felt warm enough that he welcomed the coolness against his flushed skin. It even seemed to help relieve the ache that had taken up residence in his temples. He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes, relishing the relief. Until he sensed movement. Eyes snapping open, John had his P90 up and ready only to freeze at the sight before him.

Two kids. Teenagers. A boy and a girl. Both with blond hair, the girl's hair fell to her hips. They were dressed in white clothing, simple tunics over trousers. They looked pale yet healthy. In fact they almost seemed to glow with vitality. John blinked hard, wondering if maybe his mind was playing tricks on him, but the pair remained before him. Smiling. "Who are you?" John demanded.

The girl smiled at him. "I am Deyenne and this is my brother, Dahvi."

"Twins?" John guessed, more to himself as he realized how much they looked alike. They were even the same height, making the girl taller than average.

"Yes." Deyenne looked pleased. "You are Sheppard."

John had to tighten his jaw to keep his mouth from dropping open. "How did you know that? Hey...wait a minute. You're not real...are you? You can't be real." John closed his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face. He felt like shit warmed over, the cool relief from a moment ago fading away. The pain in his head and ribs was more intense now and he winced as he lowered his hand. When he opened his eyes again he realized the twins had moved closer. "Who are you?" John asked again.

Dahvi looked surprised by the question. "We are the Keepers."

"Keepers?" John echoed. "Keepers of what?"

"This place," Deyenne replied. "We keep watch."

John was beginning to think he was hallucinating. "Keep watch over what?" he prompted. "The dead? Because in case you haven't noticed, this place is littered with four bodies and the rest of my friends are about to join them." Anger flared in John and he curled his finger over the trigger of his P90. "Did you kill them?"

Deyenne made a startled sound and she looked stunned. "We do not kill, John Sheppard. That is not our purpose here."

"Then what the hell is going on?" A sudden wave of dizziness hit John and his knees buckled as his vision grayed out for a moment. He felt his knees hit the floor, jarring his ribs and making the pain in his head feel like knives stabbing into his temples. His stomach twisted and it took all of John's self control not to puke on the floor. He fell forward onto his hands, panting against the waves of nausea. Then suddenly a coolness touched his face, easing the pain and the nausea and it took John a moment to realize that Deyenne was kneeling beside him, touching him.

After a moment, the dizziness and sickness faded away and John pulled away from Deyenne, easing back onto his haunches. "Who are you?" he asked, knowing he was repeating himself, but he wasn't getting the answer he was looking for.

Dahvi moved to kneel on his other side. "I told you, John Sheppard. We are the Keepers."

"Yeah...I heard you the first time." John pushed to his feet, swaying a bit. "Look...my friends are dying and I need to get back home to get help. Can you get me out of this hell hole?"

"Hell hole?" Deyenne echoed, her face scrunching up in confusion.

John smirked then explained. "Bad place. Can you help me or not?"

Deyenne exchanged looks with her brother then nodded. "We can lead you out of here. We must go back the way you came."

"Okay...good." John waved a hand in that direction. "Lead the way. Just tell me one thing...is this some kind of trick maze or something? The way we came in...it was blocked when I tried to leave."

"The way out is not always obvious," Dahvi replied, cryptically.

John felt too lousy to try and interpret his meaning. He just let it go as he gestured for the twins to move. Time was ticking away too fast. John knew that as lousy as he was feeling, it had to be worse for Ronon and Teyla. Although he wasn't feeling as bad as he had just a few minutes ago, John suddenly realized. And that fact set off all kinds of warning bells. But he would have to worry about that later. Right now he needed to get out of here and get help.

The twins moved along swiftly and it wasn't long before they reached Beckett and the others. John was relieved to see the doc still on his feet, but he looked pale and a bit unsteady. Ronon and Teyla were where John had left them and they looked unnaturally still. John ran over to Beckett. "Are they...?" He couldn't say it.

"They're still alive. Barely." Beckett patted the sweat off his forehead with his shirtsleeve. "I take it you didn't have any luck finding a way out?"

"Well...sort of. The twins here say they can lead me out," John said, gesturing behind him.

Carson peered around John then made a face. "Twins?" He repeated. "What are you talking about, Colonel?"

John turned and was relieved to see the blond duo still standing there. "The twins," he repeated, gesturing again. "Them. Blond hair...about fifteen."

"There's no one there, son." Carson looked a bit concerned as he moved towards John, lifting one hand to press it to his forehead. "You're burning up."

"Hey!" John smacked his hand away. "Neither one of us are doing so good, doc," But this isn't funny. The twins are right here. Their names are Deyenne and Dahvi." John turned to them. "Say hello to Dr. Beckett."

Deyenne shook her head at John. "He cannot see us. Only you can."

John did not want to hear that. "What? Why? You've got to be kidding me?" Just when he thought his day couldn't get any worse, there it went, shot to hell in a hand basket.

"Colonel?" Carson's voice was soft and kind as he put a hand on John's shoulder and turned him around. "Why don't you come and lie down a spell. Then we can figure out a way to get out of this place."

"I don't need to lie down." John shrugged Beckett's hand off him. "I'm not hallucinating, doc. The twins are here. Deyenne just informed me I'm the only one who can see them, which is par for the course the way my day is going." The last was muttered under John's breath. He saw the way Beckett eyed him. Sympathy glimmering in the blue gaze. He knew the man did not believe him but John did not have time to worry about that.

Neither did Carson because Teyla suddenly went into convulsions. "Help me hold her!" Carson shouted to John as he moved to Teyla's side.

John fell to his knees on her other side and gripped her legs. He prayed hard for this to end soon and for Teyla to be all right. Thankfully, whatever Gods existed in the Pegasus galaxy, they were apparently pleased with John tonight because Teyla went still and Beckett nodded to John after taking her pulse.

"Still alive," Carson confirmed, vocally. He paused to wipe a hand over his flushed face. "But she won't last long. Not long enough for you to get help."

"Dammit!" John was on his feet and pacing, ignoring his own pain and weakness. This was something he couldn't deal with. Being helpless. But there was nothing he could do to save Teyla and he was pretty sure Ronon wouldn't last until he returned either. The way Beckett was looking, John doubted he'd hold out which meant John would lose his entire team and that did not sit well with him.

"John Sheppard."

He turned to find Deyenne standing beside him. Surprisingly he didn't jump, but he wished she would stop doing that. "You have to get me out of here!" he snapped at her. "My friends are dying!"

She nodded, face solemn. "We can help you help them," Deyenne whispered.

"You can?" John was more than a little surprised to here that. Surprised and suspicious. He still wasn't sure they weren't to blame for what was happening. For whatever it was that was killing them.

"It will not be easy for you," Dahvi interjected. "To try and save them might put your own life at risk."

John wasn't overly concerned about that part. "Welcome to a day in the lift of John Sheppard," he shot back. "What do I have to do?" He was willing to try anything at this point.

Carson had moved to join him and he was holding a syringe in one hand. "Colonel. I want you to come lie down and let me give you a little something to make you feel better."

"No!" John backed away. "I know I sound like I'm nuts because you can't see the twins. But I swear to god they're here and they're real. And they said I can save you...all of you."

"I don't think anything can save us now," Carson countered, sadness heavy in his tone.

John glared at him. "Don't give up on me now, doc!" he growled. Then he risked turning his back on the man to ask the twins, "What do I have to do?"

Deyenne reached for John, taking his hand. A moment later, Dahvi did the same on his other side.

John was about to protest but he felt a wash of cold air then he sucked in a breath as he realized Deyenne and Dahvi were fading into mist. It startled John because he could still feel the grip of their hands on his. But then the pressure was gone and John realized that the mist was enveloping him and that it was glowing. Glowing red and warm and he knew what he had to do.

A hand on John's shoulder and he turned to find Carson ready and willing to stab him with his syringe, but John gripped his wrist and pushed him away. Carson's knees buckled and John grabbed for him, moving the sick man to the wall and easing him down to the ground. "I'll be back," John promised, then he moved to Teyla's side. Kneeling, John pressed one - glowing - hand on Teyla's stomach, the other on her forehead. He watched as a part of the mist broke off and enveloped her before being absorbed into her body. A moment later her eyes fluttered open and John fell back and away, feeling shaky and sick. He watched Teyla sit up and stare at him in confusion, but he was already moving away to repeat the process with Ronon.

A heartbeat later the warrior was sitting up, looking pissed and confused.

John moved to Beckett. The doc was staring at Teyla and Ronon in stunned disbelief. John wanted to shake a finger at him and tell him _See, I'm not crazy! _But he didn't have the energy to do that. It took all the strength he had to pretty much fall next to Beckett and repeat what he had done to Teyla and Ronon. This time, even as John watched the mist absorb into Beckett's body, he saw his own mist fade away and John went limp and boneless, falling into cold darkness.

He didn't see Beckett grab him and check his vitals. He didn't know that Teyla ran like hell, back the way they had come only to fly back in and tell Beckett and Ronon that the way out was clear. He didn't feel Ronon lift him, cradling John in his arms then moving out with him. Carrying him to the gate with an ease that suggested John was a lightweight.

He didn't see Deyenne and Dahvi standing just within the entrance of the ruins, watching him and his team as they ran for the gate.

John didn't know he made it home.


	3. Chapter 3

AMONG THE RUINS...part 3

He heard beeping.

Beeping and soft voices and the sound of his name and that made John open his eyes and instantly shut them when the light was too bright. He moaned, the sound surprising him and making his head ache worse and suddenly Beckett was there with his soft brogue and firm hands, instructing him to relax and take easy breaths. After an endless moment, John felt the pain ease and he made another attempt to open his eyes.

"How are you feeling, Colonel?" Carson asked, his eyes bright with concern.

"Teyla...Ronon?" John's throat felt tight and talking now made him cough which made everything hurt and throughout the process of Beckett easing him through it, offering a sip of water and settling him back against the pillows, John realized he had a heart monitor attached, an IV in his left hand and a catheter. He hated catheters for several reasons, not the least of which was it meant he had been in the infirmary for a long time.

Carson patted his shoulder. "They're fine, as am I…thanks to you. Now rest, son. Just rest."

John did as he was told, letting his heavy eyelids slide closed.

The next two days passed in somewhat of a haze, but John did manage to ditch the heart monitor and the catheter and eventually he came to enough of an awareness to demand a shower. Beckett argued with him for a bit, John remained adamant and determined and Beckett finally caved.

"All right, Colonel." Carson heaved a put upon sigh. "I'll take out the IV for now, but you need to start eating better."

"Fine." John didn't inform Beckett that he didn't remember eating at all. Not since before they had gone on the rescue mission. But he pushed aside that thought to focus on staying upright when his feet hit the floor. Because he was wearing a hospital gown, John accepted the robe Beckett draped over his shoulders. He also found himself accepting the strong arm that wrapped around his waist and guided him over to a nearby wheel chair. That was the point when John balked and started protesting, until his knees buckled and he nearly hit the floor, despite Beckett's support. At which point it was accept the chair or go back to bed. John sat down in the chair.

The shower wasn't fun. Beckett refused to let him take it alone, which meant John had help stripping off the gown and support while getting into the shower and he cursed his weakness all the while, silently of course. He wasn't particularly embarrassed being naked in front of the doc, he was in the military after all and Beckett was a professional, but he hated being so damn weak.

Beyond weak, John amended, five minutes later when he had no choice but to let Beckett help him out, dry him off and get him dressed. But he did balk when he said he had to pee and Beckett seemed to think that was an invitation to stay and hold him up. "I'll sit on the damn toilet and pee if I have too!" John shot back, crossly. "Just give me a minute, doc!"

"One minute," Carson conceded, then he slipped out but didn't close the door all the way.

"Dammit!" John finally cursed out loud as he ended up having to lean forward enough to press a hand to the wall in front of him while he emptied his bladder. He couldn't remember ever feeling this weak before. He made it to the sink to wash his hands and splash water on his face, hoping it would revive him a bit. No such luck. John's vision started graying out and the last thing he remembered was Beckett shouting his name.

It was two days later when Beckett allowed them to have a briefing around John's bed. He was feeling better. Still sore, still had a headache and his day pretty much consisted of bathroom trips, trying to force down food and napping. But John felt as if he were making progress.

But the moment he saw Weir and the others looking at him, John wondered if maybe he wasn't doing so hot. They eyed him with varying degrees of worry in their gazes. "I'm okay," John blurted out, wondering if he was trying to reassure them or himself.

"Are you sure you're feeling up to this, Colonel?" Elizabeth queried. "We can put it off for another day."

"I'm good." John wanted her to believe him, mainly because he was ready to be back to normal. He wanted to stop feeling so weak so Beckett would let him the hell out of the infirmary. The scary thing being that he wasn't pushing for it too hard. John knew his own limitations and he knew he wasn't ready to get back to business. His body didn't feel right and he had said as much to Beckett who had explained his condition by analogy, stating that what had happened to him was kind of like a circuit board being zapped and the conduits and wiring being blown in some places and reconfigured in others. John had figured that Rodney had been the one to come up with that particular analogy only to learn that Zelenka had mentioned it. Bottom line being, he had messed himself up big-time.

Elizabeth looked at Carson who shrugged, then she looked back at John and nodded. "All right, we start and if you feel tired just let me know."

John could accept that. He smiled at Elizabeth then glanced over at Rodney who was sitting on his other side. Ronon and Teyla were absent but Elizabeth had already informed him that they were on the mainland. "Where do you want me to start?" John asked. He knew everyone was dying of curiosity about what had happened in the cave. John hadn't been willing to talk about it until now. Until he'd felt up to working it through in his own head before trying to explain it to someone else.

"Well...Carson told me what he remembered," Elizabeth began. "He said that you talked about...twins?"

"Deyenne and Dahvi," John replied, without hesitation. "They were blond and about 15."

Rodney looked skeptical. "Carson said he didn't see them."

John remembered that all too well. "I can't explain that," he allowed, as he held Rodney's sharp gaze. "But they were there. If it wasn't for them we would have died...all of us."

"Do you remembering healing the others?" Elizabeth prompted. She was leaning forward in her chair, a neutral expression on her face.

"Vaguely," John allowed. "The twins turned into this mist."

Rodney huffed impatiently. "Yes yes...a red mist, so Carson said. But do you really expect us to believe that invisible twins turned into a red mist and gave you the ability to heal."

John glared at Rodney. "I didn't heal anyone!" he snapped. "They did! I was just...I guess I was kind of their conduit. I don't know!" John broke off as frustration rippled through him. Frustration and anger and it was just enough to kick start his headache back into action. He lifted one hand to rub his temples."

Carson noticed. "Headache, Colonel?"

"It's fine." John waved him away, not wanting to be fussed over right now. He dropped his hand and focused on Elizabeth. "Look...I'm not sure how it happened or why, but I do believe it has something to do with the ATA gene."

"I think you're right," Carson interjected. "Lorne survived and was able to return and you and I were the last to be stricken by...whatever it was that killed the others."

John nodded, grateful for Beckett's support. "Look...this is going to sound strange but..." John broke off, hesitant to continue because what he was about to say was going to sound crazy and he knew it.

Elizabeth reached out and patted his arm. "Go ahead, John. What were you going to say?"

"Well...I've been having these dreams and I think they might actually be memories." There, it was out and John felt a sense of relief. Because the dreams had been haunting him ever since he had come back to conscious awareness and he wanted to share them, but he wasn't too keen on everything thinking he was losing it. Glancing over at Rodney, John could sense that the other man was ready to poke holes in whatever John might say.

"Memories of what?" Elizabeth prompted.

John focused on her as he continued. "I think the ruins were a lab of some sort. I think the twins are still connected to me somehow and they're showing these memories in my dreams. I think they want me to go back there."

Carson looked shocked, then he shook his head. "No chance in hell!" he practically shouted. "No one is going back there, Colonel! Not ever! It's a death trap!"

"This is going to sound nuts," John began, and he almost broke off but decided he might as well just go for it. "I think we're immune now. All of us. You, me, Ronon and Teyla." And, yep...he sounded nuts.

"And you know this from your dreams?" Rodney interjected.

John turned his head to look at McKay and was surprised to see that Rodney looked intrigued. "Yes," he replied. "Look...I can't explain what happened back there. I don't know how I was able to see the twins when no one else could or why I was able to heal everyone. But I'm still connected to them."

Elizabeth touched his arm to draw his attention. "Do they talk to you?" She looked worried.

"You mean like, do I see dead people?" John almost laughed at that but she looked serious, so he shook his head. "No. It's like I can feel them and they show me things...in my dreams."

"You had a very high fever for a time, Colonel," Carson stated. "You were probably hallucinating?"

John shook his head, more carefully this time, because the pain in his temples was increasing. "No...I wasn't. I didn't have the dreams until a few days ago when I started feeling better." He was almost pleased when Beckett blanched in reaction. He didn't want to be the only one shaken up by what was happening. Truth be told, John was starting to get a little freaked out by it all.

Rodney looked thoughtful. "Stranger things have happened," he mused.

"You can say that again," John said, agreeably. "I really think going back is important."

"I don't think that's an option, John," Elizabeth interjected, her voice soft but her tone firm. She was telling him no as gently as she possibly could.

John could not accept that. He would not accept it, any more than he would accept the look on her face. She was patronizing him. She didn't believe him about the twins. "I'm not crazy!" John snapped, his tone sharper than he had intended.

Elizabeth looked surprised. "I didn't say you were."

"You didn't have to say it," John shot back. "I can practically hear you thinking it."

"You have to admit, Colonel...you sound nuts," Rodney interjected.

John glared at him. "You weren't there. You don't understand what happened." Anger gave John a boost of adrenaline, easing his pain and his weakness and he was just about ready go come off the bed.

Carson forestalled him by gripping John's shoulder and keeping him back against the pillows. "This meeting is over," he announced, eyes locked on John's face and sending the message to relax.

"You were there, doc," John countered, with an edge of desperation that he couldn't hide. Even from himself. "You saw what I did...what happened."

"Aye." Carson nodded then he focused on taking John's vitals. "I saw. You healed us all at great risk to yourself, Colonel."

John shook his head. "It wasn't me. It was them...the twins. They just used me to do it." At least that was what John kept telling himself because he sure wasn't going to believe that he was able to go around bringing people back from near death with a touch.

Carson was taking John's pulse and he made a face, obviously not happy with his findings. He ignored John for the moment and turned to the others. "Time to clear out, Colonel Sheppard needs to rest."

"Colonel Sheppard needs to go back to the ruins!" John snarled. He focused on Elizabeth. "I'm telling you we have to do this."

"John...you know you're in no condition to go anywhere," Elizabeth countered, using his condition to get her own way.

But he wasn't letting this go. "You're right...I'm not up to going right this minute. But in a few days.."

She shook her head. "I don't think so."

Before John could argue further, Beckett ushered everyone out. John glared at the man when he returned. "You were there but you don't believe me, do you?" he accused.

"I know what I saw and what I didn't see," Carson replied. He grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the bed, then he sat down. "Colonel...we need to talk."

"We've been talking, but you have not been listening," John complained and he realized he was coming very close to pouting. Lifting one hand, the one without the IV line, John rubbed at his face. He was so damn tired and so damn frustrated, and he hated not being in control of things. Because of his physical condition he was out of the loop at the moment. Weir and Beckett were in control and John hated that.

Carson was watching John, as if trying to figure out what he was thinking. After a moment he shook his head and said, "I've made you an appointment to see Dr. Heightmeyer. She'll be in tomorrow morning."

John dropped his hand and glared at Beckett. "I'm not talking to her!" He couldn't believe Beckett had done this. John knew he wasn't crazy.

"Colonel." Carson spoke softly, waiting for John to focus on him. Then he continued. "I know you believe in what you're telling us. I don't doubt that for one minute. But you have to realize that all I have to go on is what I saw. I didn't see any twins."

"Doesn't mean they weren't there," John shot back, but with little force behind it. He was too tired to argue about it, given it was going to be a moot point anyway.

Carson nodded. "Aye...it's kind of a case of my word against yours. I'm asking you to talk to Heightmeyer. Maybe you'll be able to convince her since she's an outside party. We'll decide what to do from there."

John realized that Beckett was trying to be fair to them both in the only way he knew how. The down side being that the odds weren't in John's favor. He stood to lose everything. But he found himself nodding. "Fine...I'll talk to her. But it won't change the truth, doc...no matter how much you want it too." John knew that from experience. All the denial in the world wouldn't change the truth, but the brick wall in that scenario is that you couldn't always change a person's perceptions. If no one would believe him, John was sunk.

"I just want you to rest and get better, Colonel," Carson countered. He stood up and pushed the chair away. "Get some sleep, it's the best thing for you right now."

"Yeah...okay." John closed his eyes, wanting to drift into oblivion.

He had dreamed again, waking up in excitement and wanting to talk to Rodney only to learn that McKay was off world with Lorne's team. That disgruntled John for a bit but he shrugged it off. Maybe he would talk to Zelenka about what he'd dreamed. Maybe the Czech scientist would be more open to believing him.

But John was thwarted in his attempts to contact anyone. The moment he woke up the nurse was all over him taking vitals. She offered him the chance to shower and he took her up on it. When he was showered and changed and ready to face the day, John found Beckett waiting at his bed. Another exam then a tray of food was set before him with orders to eat up. Beckett also dangled the hope that John might be released to his room the next day if he did as he was told. So he ate what he could, ignoring the scowl on the nurse's face because he'd barely eaten half of what was on his plate. John aimed a charming smile her way and asked for a radio. He had the nurse, Carly, half convinced to get him one when Heightmeyer showed up.

John scowled at her, then looked past her to watch Carly scamper away. He needed the radio, dammit.

"How are you feeling, Colonel?" Kate asked, as she moved to his side, a warm smile on her face.

"Just peachy," John shot back, then he made a face and apologized. "Sorry...that was rude. Don't take my bad attitude personally, doc. I just...I really don't want to talk to you."

Kate nodded. "I know. You've managed to avoid me so far. Why is that?"

John shrugged then looked down at his fingers that were pulling on the edge of the blanket. "I don't like letting people get inside my head."

"Scary place?" Kate guessed.

"Pretty dark," John allowed, knowing what she was trying to do. "Look...I had to talk to shrinks in the past. You go on a bad mission and they won't let you fly again until they're sure you won't go Kamikaze on them. You've read my file...so you know that."

Kate turned and found the chair, pulling it over and sitting down. Taking a moment to make herself comfortable. "I've read your file a few times," she stated. "Interesting reading. You've been through a lot in your rather short career."

John almost smiled. "Seems like a rather long career to me."

"I'll bet." Kate shifted forward in her chair, locking eyes with John. "We can do this the easy way if you like. Get right to the point of why I'm here."

"Works for me." John just wanted to get this over with.

Kate looked relieved. "What happened in the ruins?"

John sighed, shifting a bit against the pillows to ease the ache in his side. His ribs were still sore. "I'm sure you've heard about the twins?" he began. Might as well know what she knew so he could deal with it.

"Deyenne and Dahvi, correct?"

"Right." John shifted again then brought a hand up to the back of his neck and rubbed hard. Another headache was forming. "They were real. They told me they were the Keepers of the ruins, only they didn't get a chance to tell me what they were the keepers of. But I've had these dreams and I think there's a lab there. I know it's important somehow and we need to go there and check it." John realized he was rambling about but he couldn't stop himself. He had to get someone to understand. To believe him.

Kate reached out and touched his arm. "Let's back up a bit," she requested. "Describe the twins to me and tell me exactly what happened from the moment you saw them, in as much detail as possible."

John nodded then did as she requested, ending with how they had turned into mist that had allowed him to heal the others. "So that's what happened," John finished, watching Heightmeyer's closely. She had a good poker face. John couldn't read her expression. She remained silent, looking contemplative and after a moment John blurted out, "You think I made it up!" It was an accusation. He knew she wouldn't believe him.

"No...I think it happened," Kate replied.

"You do?" John could not hide his shock. But there was something in the tone of her voice that kept him from being hopeful.

Kate nodded. "You did heal your team members, Colonel. And Dr. Beckett saw the red mist. Something helped you, or used you, as a means to heal everyone. That's a fact that no one can deny."

John caught on and he interrupted her. "But you still think I imagined the twins. Right?"

"I think you were very sick at that point, Colonel," Kate said gently.

"We're done." John's tone left no doubt but that he was finished with this. He even shifted onto his side, back facing Heightmeyer. He would apologize for his rudeness some other time. Maybe.

There was movement as Kate left the chair, then she touched his shoulder. "You're only hurting yourself if you don't deal with this, Colonel. I'll be in touch." With that she was gone, footsteps echoing softly away.

John rolled onto his back, wincing against the pull to his side. He was pissed off and frustrated and it sucked not to have an outlet for any of it. Tomorrow he would be released, so John decided to focus on that. Once he was out of here he could take matters into his own hands. The first thing he would do would be to contact Zelenka. John had a feeling the little guy might be the one person who would believe him. Zelenka was a scientist, but he was broadminded about all things, a trait that John had come to admire about him.

Having formed a plan, John let his eyes close. His headache was throbbing and his side ached and he was still tired. He needed to rest and to be strong for tomorrow. So he drifted off to sleep.

John didn't dream this time. He floated in a warm dark sea where shadows washed over him, brushing him with their whispers. Promising everything and embraced them, letting them wrap around him, cocooning him in their vibrant presence. But they shattered and scattered suddenly, screaming in protested as they slithered away and John ached for their loss. Without thinking he reacted, lashing out at the enemy that had chased away his friends.

A scream made John's eyes fly open and he stared at the terrified visage of Carly. She was trying to pull away from him and John blinked and looked down at his fingers, where they curled tightly over her wrist.


	4. Chapter 4

Panic flared in John when he realized that Carly was staring at him with wide eyes that glimmered with terror. She was afraid of him. He released her and started to slide out of bed as she backed away from him. "I...I'm sorry...sorry..." John whispered. "It was...I was dreaming." He could still see images in his head, yet it was more what he felt than what he saw that lingered with him. That and the sense of loss. Of being disconnected from something that he couldn't explain. It almost hurt.

Carly was nodding at him, trying to rein in her fear. Trying to shift into caretaker mode and the nurse in her won out when John's knees buckled. She jumped forward to grab his arm.

Now he was the one flinching away from her. He was terrified of hurting her again. Terrified because the reaction to lash out before hadn't come from him. "I'm okay!" John hissed, pulling away from her. He needed to get out of here. It felt as if the walls were closing in on him.

"Colonel!"

John froze in his attempts to yank the tape off the back of his hand. His IV had already pulled out and blood was dripping onto the floor. He ignored it and turned to see Beckett eyeing him with concern. "I scared her," John whispered, pointing at Carly with his good hand.

Surprisingly, she stood up for him. "He startled me is all. He was thrashing about and I got worried and I woke him from a bad dream. It's fine." She moved to John as if to take his arm again.

He stepped away and looked at Beckett. "I'd like to go back to my room now."

"Let's take care of your hand first," Carson countered, reaching out and gripping John's wrist. He held firm when John tried to tug away.

"Then I can go?" John asked, and he was almost begging. Almost. He tried again to tug free of Beckett's grip but the Scotsman had an iron hold on him, steering him back to the bed.

Carson was pressing a gauze pad to the back of John's hand to staunch the blood. He was focused on that for a moment before replying. "We'll see. Get back on the bed for me, Colonel."

John did as he was told, feeling his heart thudding against his lungs. He felt hyped up and anxious, like the time he'd accidentally taken a double dose of heavy painkillers for a tooth infection. It wasn't a good kind of feeling high. His body felt taut and wired and he wanted only to break away and flee. But John made himself remain still as Beckett peeled away the IV tape then took care of the small wound on his hand. Once it was bandaged, John asked again, "Can I go now?"

"Soon." Carson was urging him back against the pillows and reaching for the covers. "I want to keep you under observation for a bit."

"I'm not sick," John insisted, and he was getting tired of being treated like something was wrong with him.

Carson was watching him through a narrowed gaze. "But you are agitated and pale and you seem to forget that what you did in healing us...it took a lot out of you."

John cursed under his breath. "I didn't heal you!"

"Fine. But you were the conduit and it wore you out." Carson patted his shoulder. "Rest. I'll have a tray brought. If you're doing well by tonight I'll release you to your room."

"Okay." John wanted to go now but he knew better than to argue the point. He shifted about, trying to get comfortable and closed his eyes. He must have dozed off because a soft voice pulled him out of a shadowy darkness. John blinked his eyes open and focused on Carly's smiling face. But it was a hesitant smile. John winced. He felt bad about scaring her. "I'm sorry about what happened," he blurted out. "I didn't mean to scare you. Did I hurt you?"

Carly shook her head as she moved forward to set the tray she was holding on the tray table. "I'm fine, Colonel. You just startled me as much as I think I startled you."

John nodded, relieved that she was okay. "Yeah...I guess you did." He eyed the heavily laden tray. "Beckett doesn't expect me to eat all of this, does he?" There was enough food for three people.

"Eat as much as you can," Carly advised. "Dr. Beckett left instructions that if you clean your plate you can leave." She smiled at John. "If you eat enough I'm willing to fudge for you."

"Thanks." John appreciated it more than she knew. So he grabbed his fork and started eating. He had to give up halfway though so he gave Carly puppy dog eyes when she came for the tray. "Can I go?"

She nodded. "Go. I'll tell Carson you did good. Just make sure you eat later."

John was already out of bed. "I will. Thanks." He gave her a smile then headed for the door. The moment he reached his room he stripped and took a shower. John knew he was supposed to be resting, but he was tired of doing that and it was making him feel sluggish. So he dressed in his uniform, moving carefully against the pull in his ribs, then he settled in before his laptop. He had a report to write.

Two hours later John jumped when a knock sounded. "Come in!" he called out, expecting it to be Beckett. To his surprise it was Ronon. "What's up?" John asked, and he grinned when Ronon looked up at the ceiling. "It's just an expression," John explained. "Did you want something?"

"Just checking on you," Ronon replied.

"Did Beckett send you?" John countered.

Ronon shook his head. "No. You okay?"

John wondered at how to answer that. He went for being as honest as he could. "Sure," he drawled. "How are you feeling? No ill effects?"

"Not sure." Ronon was pacing the room. "Thanks...for what you did. Beckett told us how you healed us."

"Yeah...and now he thinks I'm crazy because of it," John retorted. He was still angry at the fact that no one believed him about the twins.

Ronon looked surprised. "Why would he think that?"

John eyed him with suspicion. "Didn't they tell you about the twins I saw? The ones who actually saved you guys."

"No."

"Oh." John hadn't expected that. "Well...I'll tell you then. I saw these twins, a boy and a girl. About 15 years old. They told me they could help me get out and get help but when you guys were so close to dying they said they could help me save you. They turned into this red mist and that's how I healed you." John realized he was leaving out a lot of details but he was mostly interested in watching Ronon's reaction.

Ronon's expression was closed off. "I dreamed about a red mist last night."

John stood up and approached him. "You did? What else?"

"That's it." Ronon was succinct.

"Do you think I'm crazy?" John asked, point blank. He needed to know how his team felt about him. He already knew Rodney sided with Beckett, but John was willing to cut Rodney some slack. He hadn't been there so he was just going by what Beckett had told him.

One corner of Ronon's mouth quirked. "Do you think you're crazy?" he countered.

John shook his head. "No."

"That's all that matters," Ronon said sagely. "I've gotta go. I'm training with Lorne."

"Kick his ass good," John said, grinning.

Ronon grinned. "I will. Let me know when you feel up to it and I'll kick yours too." With that he was gone.

John scowled at the door then smiled. He had trained with Ronon once already and he swore he could still feel the bruises. He stretched, carefully, then decided he needed some fresh air. A walk would do him good then maybe he would see if Elizabeth wanted to grab a bite to eat. Maybe he could talk to her and get her to see reason in a more relaxed atmosphere.

So John headed out, weaving through the corridors towards the south pier. There was a balcony there that he had declared his own. But he didn't make it there before running into McKay. Literally. John made an 'oof' sound as he hit the wall hard. One hand came up to press against his sore ribs.

"Watch where you're --" Rodney broke off when he realized who he'd collided with. "Colonel...oh...are you alright? You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," John managed to grit out. The pain in his side was easing up and he could catch his breath. "Did I hurt you?"

Rodney snorted. "Hardly. But what are you doing out here? Aren't you supposed to be resting?"

John glared at him. "I'm taking a walk, is that okay with you?" He realized he was being too snappy but he was tired of being treated like an invalid.

"Do what you want," Rodney countered with a shrug.

"What are you doing out here?" John shot back. "Isn't your lab the other way?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Yes it is. But there were power fluctuations that I was checking on."

John tensed up at that. Security of Atlantis was his responsibility. "Is anything wrong?" he prompted.

"No. Everything is fine. I took care of the problem." Rodney looked slighted.

"Of course you did," John replied, then he made to step around Rodney only to stop and blurt out, "Do you think I made up the twins?"

Rodney looked surprised by the question. His mouth opened then closed a few times before he cleared his throat and replied, "I don't know. Beckett thinks you were hallucinating."

John sighed. "I know what Beckett thinks. I'm asking you what you think?"

"I wasn't there," Rodney shot back. "I don't know what to think. You were sick but it's not like you to see things. I don't have enough scientific data to make a determination one way or another."

"Guess that's fair enough," John allowed. He wouldn't put McKay on the spot since he hadn't been there. He nodded at Rodney then turned and walked away. It didn't take long to reach his balcony and John sucked in lungfuls of air. He felt as if he could breathe again. Moving to the railing, John was content to simply look out over Atlantis for a time. But then he felt anxiety creeping up on him. It settled into his stomach, twisting his insides until John felt like he was going to be sick. Even though he was out in the open, the air began to feel heavy, settling over him like a wet blanket until it became hard to breathe.

Bolting for the doors, John ran into the corridor. He felt panicked. Someone was there. Someone was chasing him. He knew who it had to be. The Wraith. The Wraith were in the city. No...no...it was just one Wraith. Bob. Yeah...he knew Bob. John ran for the nearest transporter, cursing himself for leaving his room without his radio or his gun. But that was okay...the armory was close by and he would need to be heavily armed.

"Sonofabitch!" John cursed, slamming his palms against the transporter doors. He wanted out of here. The damn thing was moving too slow. He had to protect Atlantis. "Come on...come ON!" John was ready to kick the damn thing when it opened. John started running, ignoring the pull in his side. Time was of the essence. He ducked left, ran faster and was almost to the infirmary when the feeling of anxiety rushed out of him like a damn springing a leak. John felt his legs buckle and he slid to the floor.

"Bob is dead," he whispered. He knew that. He had killed the bastard himself. Bob was dead and they had shields up. There were no Wraith in the city. "Fuck!" John buried his face in his hands, feeling the sheen of cold sweat that slicked his skin.

How long he sat there he didn't know, but it was a while before John felt strong enough to stand up. He walked back to the transporter and stepped in. Time blurred again but suddenly he was at his room. Stumbling over to the bed, John curled up on his good side, drawing a blanket over him. He felt cold to the bone. Cold and achy and worn out. Closing his eyes, John drifted into darkness.

No more dreams. John was relieved by that. No dreams and no feelings of panic or anxiety for three days in a row. He cleared a check with Beckett, biting his lip against flinching when the man poked at his sore ribs. John faked it well enough that Beckett cleared him to light duty.

The first thing John did was check in with Weir. She tried to convince him, yet again, to talk to Heightmeyer. John blew her off and she took it well, but he knew she wasn't happy about it. Yeah, well...he wasn't too happy about the fact that she thought he was crazy and needed to see a shrink. So he left Elizabeth's office feeling a bit uptight. John decided to visit Zelenka.

The Czech was busy in lab two but he invited John in and listened, with rapt attention, when John told him about the dreams and what he saw.

"Can you describe the lab?" Zelenka prompted.

"Sort of. It's kind of blurry." John closed his eyes and tried to conjure up the images. "It...it kinda reminds me of the labs here. The symbols and the style of it. But...bigger." John opened his eyes, cautiously, uncertain if he wanted to see Zelenka's reaction.

But Zelenka looked excited. "Could very well be Ancient design," he said, grinning. "I believe they spread out from Atlantis. They explored other worlds as we do. I will check our database and get back to you. Yes?"

John nodded, feeling himself relax a bit. "Yes. Thank you."

"For what? I have done nothing yet." Zelenka looked surprised.

"You don't think I'm crazy," John countered. "That means more than you know."

Zelenka shrugged. "We are in whole new world, anything is possible." That said he wandered off to his laptop and began typing.

John watched for a moment then left. He felt hopeful for the first time since his return. Hopeful and hungry so he headed for the mess hall. John stepped into the transporter and found himself whistling a commercial ditty. Which got him thinking about fast food and how much he missed pizza and burgers. Smiling wistfully as the doors slid open, John stepped out of the transporter and right into somebody's fist.

The lights went out before he hit the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

Pain. That's what brought John back to consciousness and the moment he opened his eyes he wished he could slide back into darkness. It didn't hurt there. Now that he was awake, it felt like everything hurt. Even his hair. Stifling a groan, John tried to sit up only to realize his wrists were bound behind his back. He pulled on them but succeeded only in chafing his skin. Whoever had tied him up knew what they were doing.

"You're awake!"

The voice was sharp and familiar. John turned his head, wincing as pain stabbed through his skull, and found himself staring up at Teyla. She looked angry and anxious and when she moved to kneel in front of him, John found himself flinching away. But he couldn't move far enough, fast enough, and strong fingers gripped his face.

Teyla scowled at him. "I should have known it was you all along!" she snarled.

"What are you talking about?" John countered, because she really wasn't making any kind of sense. Slowly he managed to shift up so that he was slumped against the wall.

"You're a betrayer!" Teyla's fingers bit into his skin hard enough to bruise. "I blame myself for being fooled by your charm and your pretty face."

John felt offended and he wasn't exactly sure why. But he was relieved when Teyla released him and stood up, starting to pace. "Betrayer of what?" he prompted. "Teyla...what's going on? Where are we and why am I tied up?" John was all kinds of confused at this point.

Teyla stopped pacing to glare at him. "You thought you could seduce me...that through me you could control my people. But I will not allow that to happen! I will kill you first!" And with that she was on her knees, knife in hand, the blade pressed to his throat before he could react.

"Teyla..." John whispered, and he was pretty much afraid to even swallow because he could feel the sharp edge of the blade prickling his skin. "I haven't...I wouldn't betray you."

"LIAR!" The blade pressed harder.

John felt warm wetness trickle down his throat. She had made him bleed. It hit John that Teyla was serious. She intended to kill him. And he was helpless to stop her. He tried to ease his head back but the wall was behind him and Teyla had one hand fisted in his hair. He gasped as the blade bit in deeper...

"TEYLA!" Roared a voice from behind her

The pressure eased and John sucked in a lungful of air before managing to focus on the scene before him. Teyla had risen to confront Ronon. John wondered how the hell Ronon had found them. He didn't even recognize the room they were in. Not that John was going to complain. He just wanted out of here. He managed to maneuver himself up to his knees just as Teyla launched herself at Ronon. The Satedan blocked her and in a heartbeat had her disarmed and unconscious. As John watched, Ronon laid Teyla gently on the floor. "Good timing," John whispered, because it hurt to talk.

Ronon looked grim as he nodded, then went to work on cutting the ropes that bound John. "I followed her, she had to drag you here. But I lost her for a time."

"Thanks for the rescue." John rubbed his freed wrists then lifted a hand to his neck. They came away red. Then Ronon was holding out a square of cloth and John pressed it to the wound. He accepted Ronon's hand up but had to lock his knees to remain standing. "I don't know what happened to her. It's like she went nuts."

"I feel what she feels," Ronon stated.

That got John's attention. "What? What do you mean?"

Ronon turned to look at Teyla's inert form. "We dream of red mists. Reality is slipping away from us. Something happened in the Ruins."

"I know." John felt both relieved and terrified. "Ronon...do you think you'll lose control the way Teyla did? Become violent?"

"Probably." He moved to pick Teyla up. "You need to call security and lock us up." Ronon held out Teyla's radio earpiece.

John took it and contacted Beckett first thing, then he called Major Lorne, who had recovered rather quickly and didn't seem to be feeling any ill effects from the ruins, the way John and his team had. Or...were. Ronon headed out to meet the others and John stumbled after him. His head was pounding, his neck was still bleeding and it took all of his concentration to put one foot in front of the other. Then, suddenly, Beckett was there just as John started to slide away into darkness.

The darkness brightened to gray, then it shaded into red and John reached out for it, wanting the coolness to wrap around him. But there were voices buzzing around him, preventing him from slipping away. And hands that poked and prodded him and anger washed over him. He lashed out, wanting to silence the voices, only to find more hands on him, then a stinging pain in his shoulder and everything faded away.

He came awake to the memory of the fist connecting with his face and John sat up, feeling the burn of pain in his muscles, the stab of it in his skull. His stomach twisted into knots and he couldn't catch enough breath to give warning before his stomach heaved. He was a bit surprised when a basin appeared under his chin and John gripped it as he puked until it felt as if his insides were going to come out. Then a soft voice was urging him to lie back and John pretty much just slumped against the pillows. He closed his eyes as he tried to breathe through the pain in his head, then there was damp coolness brushing over his face and forehead and the pain ebbed enough that he could open his eyes.

Carson was eyeing him with concern. "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Like shit," John croaked, and he was grateful when Beckett handed him a cup of green tinted water. John knew what it was and he rinsed the sour taste from his mouth before accepting another cup of ice chips. He sucked one into his mouth and blissed out for a moment while it melted. And during that time the memory of what had happened came rushing back. "Teyla?"

"She's fine...sort of." Carson winced then sighed. "Are you feeling up to chatting for a moment?"

John considered nodding but since that would cause more pain he settled for whispering," Sure." He watched Beckett pull up a chair and settle in. During that time John noticed he had an IV taped to the back of his left hand and he held it up to show Beckett. "What's this for?"

Carson patted the arm and lowered it back to the bed. "For various reasons, Colonel. Just let it do its thing."

"Okay." John didn't have the energy to argue the point. "What happened to Teyla?"

"Let's start with what happened to you," Carson countered. "I know you're feeling pretty crappy right now."

John snorted at that. Beckett was the king of understatement. He lifted his free hand to his face and probed his cheekbone. Teyla had one hell of a punch, but he knew that wasn't enough to keep him down for as long as he had been out. "What did she do to me?"

Carson scrubbed a hand over his face, looking utterly weary, before replying. "She drugged you. She gave you a sedative to keep you compliant while she dragged you around Atlantis, then she pumped a stimulant in you to neutralize it. That's why you feel so sick."

"Where did she get them?" John was stunned at what she'd done but he was more concerned by where she'd gotten the drugs.

"She stole them from the med cabinet," Carson replied. "One of my nurses had just informed me the drugs were missing when we got your radio call. So at least I had some idea of what was wrong with you."

John nodded, regretted it when pain stabbed in his temples, then asked, "Where is Teyla?" He had scooped the infirmary area he could see and she wasn't there.

Carson shifted in his chair, looking uncomfortable. "She's in the brig. Ronon too."

"What?" John almost shot off the bed and wasn't that the dumbest thing he'd done in a while. He folded over in agony and had to will his stomach to settle down. He felt Beckett's hands on his shoulders trying to ease him back, then there was a cool hand on his forehead and words that were meant to soothe him. But it seemed like an eternity passed before the pain eased and John was able to breathe again. He was panting slightly as he tried to shift himself into a comfortable position.

"You need to keep still, Colonel," Carson chided, softly.

John wasn't going to argue with him. Not this time. He felt like crap. After a time his stomach settled down, the ache in his skull eased to something bearable and he risked opening his mouth to ask a question. "Why are Ronon and Teyla in the brig?"

Carson looked agitated for a moment. He jumped up and paced around the chair, finally shoving it back as he moved to the side of the bed. "I guess the best way to explain it is that they're slipping into madness. They've both become violent, and you've experienced - first hand - what Teyla is capable of. But it's escalated to the point where they're hurting themselves and I've had to sedate them to keep them at all lucid."

"Why is this happening?" John was stunned and confused and he was irritated at the fact that he felt so shitty. It made it hard for him to concentrate and focus properly.

"I wish I knew." Carson heaved a sigh and ran a shaky hand over his face. "It's affecting me too. I have two guards stationed with stunners to take me down if I lose it." He pointed to the doorway.

John glanced over and was surprised that he hadn't noticed them earlier. They were his men. "This...what's happening...it has to do with the planet...the ruins." John knew it for a fact. "Ronon told me he had dreams about the mist."

Carson nodded. "I've had them too."

"We have to go back to the Ruins." John was adamant about that to the point where he tried to slide out of bed. Only to have pain spike in his head, his stomach twist into knots that threatened to expel themselves through his mouth and the next thing he knew hands were on him, trying to soothe him. Then something liquid cool was spreading through his veins and John slid into darkness.

He felt better but lethargic when he managed to peel his eyes open again. To John's surprise, Rodney was sitting with him. "Hey..." John croaked out.

Rodney looked up from his laptop. "You're awake!" He looked surprised. He got up, placing the laptop on the chair, and moved over to the bed.

"Can't get one past you," John countered, but it hurt to talk. "Can I have some water?"

"Oh...sure." Rodney grabbed the glass and steadied it for him. "Better?" he asked after John had taken a few sips.

John nodded, carefully. "Where's Beckett?"

Rodney winced. "Locked up with Ronon and Teyla. He's still holding it together, barely...but it's taking its toll on him. However, I have some news for you. Zelenka and Dr. Weir actually figured it out..."

John wasn't listening. Rodney's words were nothing but white noise in his ears that eventually faded away. This was wrong...all wrong. He wasn't supposed to be here. He was trapped and alone and he had to get back home. He peered into the darkness that surrounded him, feeling lost. He didn't know the way out but he had to find it. He had to get back."

"Colonel!" Rodney looked panicked as he gripped John by the shoulders and tried to keep him in bed. "A little help here!" He called out.

"NO!" John lashed out at the hands that held him. He would not let them bind him again. He would not let them probe his mind. It hurt too much and left him feeling empty. He had to escape.

Rodney held on tight but keeping John down wasn't easy. A guard appeared to help him, along with Dr. Manning. They got John back on the bed.

Dr. Manning studied the Colonel. "We have to put him in restraints. I can't risk sedating him right now."

"This is bad." Rodney said, as he tightened his grip on John's Shoulder.

"I know." Dr. Manning nodded to a nurse who stepped up and put John's wrists in restraints, which made him struggle harder. "You can release him," Manning instructed.

Rodney stepped back but winced as he watched John pull at the restraints. His movements were hard and vicious and already the skin on his wrists was abraded. "He's going to do more damage to himself!" Rodney hissed. "You have to give him something."

Manning shook his head "It's not a good idea. Look...try talking to him."

"What am I supposed to say?" Rodney looked panicked.

"Anything!" Manning pushed him towards the bed.

Rodney took a deep breath and leaned in over John, finally gripping his shoulders. "Colonel! Can you hear me? It's McKay!"

John recognized the voice and went still. He could still feel the others but they had drifted back. Rodney. Rodney was here. But it was so dark and he couldn't see him. He needed to see him. "Help me...help me!" he whispered.

"I...um...sure, I can do that." Rodney turned a scared face to Manning, who waved at him to keep talking. "What...what do you want me to do?"

"Get me...get me out of here," John whispered. "Please. Before they come back."

Rodney froze. "Before who comes back?"

John shifted, feeling hot flashes of pain. He caught his breath, fearing that the others were find him again. Find him and hide and no one would know where to look for him. They would forget him. "Please..." John whispered. "Take me home."

"I will," Rodney promised, his expression bleak. "Just…hang on, Colonel. I'm coming for you. Just...rest. Okay?"

"Hurry…" John replied, then he let himself drift into the darkness because he was no longer alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry this took so long. RL has been a nasty distraction. Thank you to everyone for the fabulous reviews. :D

* * *

John came back to awareness in stages. He felt a throbbing ache in his temples and various other aches throughout his body. He felt heavy and lethargic and his mind was adrift with images that faded in and out. But he knew where he was. He recognized the smell of the infirmary. Peeling his eyes open, John blinked hard and brought a familiar form into focus. Elizabeth. He tried to swallow the dryness from his mouth so that he could call out to her, but all he managed was a croak that made him cough.

Elizabeth heard him and was by his side in an instant. "Easy, John. Here, take a sip of water." Once his coughing eased for a moment, she held the straw to his lips.

He took a few sips and the tickling feeling eased. Another sip and he was pretty sure he could talk again. "Thanks," he whispered. It came out a bit hoarse, but it was doable.

"How do you feel?" Elizabeth's eyes were dark with worry as she asked.

"Been better," John allowed. "The others?"

A frown crossed her face before Elizabeth could erase it. "Not so good. Dr. Beckett is still holding on to moments of lucidity, but it's difficult. Teyla and Ronon have become...animalistic. No one can get near them to even try and examine them or anything."

John wasn't thrilled to hear that. "How long have I been out of it?" As he asked he tried to sit up and that was when he realized he was in restraints. "Did I hurt anyone?" He was horrified at the thought.

"Only yourself," Elizabeth assured him. She reached for one hand and brushed her fingertips lightly over the bandages that were wrapped around his wrists. "You fought so hard against the restraints at times that you were bleeding heavily."

"I was...dreaming." John remembered now and it scared the hell out of him. He must have been acting out during the dreams. Tugging on the restraints he met her gaze. "Can you take them off now?"

Elizabeth winced then shook her head. "I'd rather not just yet. You certainly seem fully lucid now, John…but it's been scary."

He understood. "Okay…um…I remember Rodney being here. Right?"

"Yes…he's been in and out."

"He told me you and Dr. Zelenka figured something out about the ruins. Is that true?" John certainly hoped that it was, because he had figured out a few things as well. Although not so much figured them out as he had been shown what he was dealing with. The dreams had been much more than just reflections of his subconscious mind. In many ways they had been a tutorial. A guide of sorts.

Expression brightening a bit, Elizabeth dragged over a chair and sat down. "We went through the Ancient archives that we have been able to bring up and we found the planet and identified the ruins. But, you're not going to like what we found."

John wasn't surprised to hear that. "Tell me anyway," he whispered.

"Okay." Elizabeth cleared her throat then began. "From what we can tell, the ruins were intended to be a mental facility."

"What?" That shook John up, even as he realized the truth of it from what he had experienced and from his dreams.

Elizabeth eyed him with concern. "Maybe we should talk later."

John forced himself to relax, realizing he was pulling at the restraints. "Please…I need to know."

"There was a lab in the center of the ruins…um…facility," she continued. "From what I've been able to translate from various notes and journals, the patients sent to this facility were beyond hope. Insane with no hope of reversal or cure. Many of them violently so. The head of the facility was named Jalene. She was working on an experimental drug of sorts. Although my translation comes closer to calling it a virus. Any way, she created it in the hopes of curing her husband. From what I can tell she lived at the facility with him and their children."

"Twins," John interjected. "Dahvi and Deyenne."

Elizabeth frowned at him. "It didn't mention their names, parts of her journal and her notes are missing.

John didn't need confirmation. He knew the truth. "It's them. They're the reason we're like this...going insane. They...infected us…when they bonded with me to help me heal the others." John was offering up a theory, he was giving her what he knew to be fact. "We have to go back there. Me, Beckett, Ronon and Teyla. Just us."

"John…listen to me." Elizabeth grabbed for his hand and waited until he was focused on her. "From what we can tell, the virus ended up killing everyone. Those that didn't turn on the others, slaughtering them, turned on themselves."

"Such is the way of madness," John whispered to himself. Then he held Elizabeth's gaze. "We have to go back. There is a cure. They told me. They figured it out after their mother died. They outlived everyone. It didn't touch them. They think it's because they were children. Just six years old when it happened.

Elizabeth did not look convinced. "John...I know that this is difficult, but you have to realize that what you think you know...what you think you've experienced -"

He cut her off with a glare. "It's REAL!" John snapped. "I'm not hallucinating or imagining it. I talk to them in my dreams, they...they're calling me back. Calling all of us. You can't help us here, Elizabeth. If we stay here, Ronon and Teyla will die and you'll end up having to lock me and Beckett up to keep us from hurting anyone."

"Ronon and Teyla will die?" Elizabeth echoed, focusing on that part of what he'd said.

"It has something to do with them not having the Ancient gene," John explained, wearily resting his head back against the pillows. He felt beyond tired. Tired in a way that made his bones ache. He let his eyes drift closed, waiting for her to reply. A hand touched his arm and John forced his eyes open.

Elizabeth offered a sad smile. "Get some sleep, John. I need to think about this and get back to you."

He nodded, knowing there was nothing more he could say to convince her. "We don't have much time," he whispered.

"I'll keep that in mind." That said, Elizabeth walked away.

John let the darkness claim him.

- - -

When he woke again, Rodney was with him, tapping away at his laptop.

"Hey," John called out.

"You're awake." Rodney looked surprised and wary as he set aside his laptop and moved over to the bed. "You feel okay?"

John tugged on the restraints. "Not really. What did Weir decide?"

Rodney made a face, looking uncomfortable. "She's not happy about what you said, but I think I've convinced her you have to go."

"You did?" John was surprised. "I thought you didn't believe me about the twins."

"It wasn't that I didn't believe you," Rodney countered, looking peeved. "I just...I didn't have enough facts to decide one way or another. But there's no denying what's happening to you and the others. We can't help you so...well..." he trailed off.

John knew what he didn't want to say. If they couldn't find a way to help themselves at the Ruins, then they wouldn't be coming back. Rodney wasn't good with goodbyes, neither was John. "When can we go?"

Rodney shrugged. "Dr. Manning is arguing that you're not strong enough to go anywhere."

"I don't have time to get stronger, Rodney," John insisted. "We have to go now. Please...talk to Elizabeth for me." He would beg if he had too. But Rodney was already nodding at him.

"I'll be back," Rodney promised, as he grabbed his laptop. Then he hurried away and John closed his eyes and prayed.

- - -

They were gathered in the gateroom. John knew that Elizabeth wasn't happy about this, but he also knew there was no other way. He looked at Beckett who seemed distracted. He knew it was the drugs they were both on. Teyla and Ronon had been injected as well and they looked like Zombies, eyes wide and unfocused, both of them restless in the heavy cuffs and chains that bound their wrists and their ankles together. John hated having to bind them in such a way, but he knew he didn't have the strength to stop them if they got violent.

Elizabeth moved to stand before him. "I think this is a bad idea," she said firmly.

"I know you do," John allowed. "There is no other way. If there was...we'd be doing it."

"True enough," she conceded. "Be safe...and come back home, Colonel."

John managed a shaky grin. "That's the plan." He turned to his team, focusing on Beckett. "Let's move out." John watched Beckett step through the gate, leading Ronon and Teyla through. Then he followed behind them without looking back. It was going to be a long way home.


	7. Chapter 7

The trek to the ruins was long and arduous. John didn't feel all that great and he had the added worry of keeping an eye on the others. Teyla and Ronon were becoming more fitful and aggressive and Beckett was starting to slack off as if distracted. John didn't have the energy to keep them all focused. Putting one foot in front of the other was taking more will power than he possessed at the moment. But he kept walking and kept prodding the others. He knew that their only hope was to reach the ruins.

It felt like forever before they reached the ruins and Beckett was almost jittery by then. He was nervous about Ronon and Teyla, as was John. To the point where he herded them all inside and it felt like coming home in a twisted kind of way. Tension had knotted his insides but he felt himself relaxing a bit. They kept walking and hadn't gone far when the twins appeared. John wasn't surprised to see them. "You knew we were coming," he stated.

Deyenne nodded. "We sent for you."

"What does that mean?" John queried. "I mean...did you do this too us? Are you making us insane?" He gestured to Ronon and Teyla as he spoke.

"No...not directly," Dahvi replied. "The moment you entered here you were all infected. We thought we could help you so that you could leave and go back home, but we were wrong."

John didn't bother commenting on what was obviously the truth. "So what now?" he countered. "Can you help us?"

Before the twins could respond, Carson interjected. "Who are you talking to, Colonel?" He was staring at John as if he had two heads.

"You know who!" John shot back, feeling annoyed. "The twins." He waved in their direction to make his point. "They're the reason we came back, remember? So they could help us?"

"We came back to see if there's anything left of the lab," Carson countered, with more than a touch of irritation of his own. He moved to John and lifted a hand to touch his forehead. "You're a bit feverish. I want you to sit for a moment and rest."

John jerked back when Beckett took his arm and tried to pull him over to the wall. "How can you not believe me?" His tone was sharp and colored with accusation. "I get that you can't see them...but after everything that's happened you still don't believe they exist?"

Carson sighed, rubbing a hand over his face, rubbing at eyes that were dark-rimmed with exhaustion. "I wish I could believe you, Colonel, but as you're the only one who can see them...it's hard to accept."

And John didn't have a reply for that so he turned his back on Beckett and focused on the twins. But he had one eye on Ronon and Teyla. They were coming out of the drugs and both were becoming agitated. "Can you help them? Is there anything we can do to make them more lucid for now?"

"We can help," Deyenne whispered, gliding closer to John. "Do you trust us?"

"It's not like I have a choice." John wasn't really committing to the question, he was settling for being as honest as he could right now. He wasn't sure if he could trust them or even himself. But he had to do something to help the others.

Dahvi moved to him as well. "Take our hands, like last time," he instructed.

John didn't hesitate. He gripped their hands and felt cold rushing through him, like ice water in his veins. He watched the twins dispel into the red mist again, then he was moving over to Teyla, cupping her face in both hands and holding on tight as the mist settled over her. John heard her cry out, felt her body tremble then go taut before collapsing. He caught her before she hit the ground and Beckett was there as well, examining her.

Teyla blinked hard and opened her eyes and they were no longer clouded and unfocused. "What...what happened?" she asked, her voice sounding hoarse.

"Long story," John replied, as he rose to his feet. Moving over to Ronon, he lifted his hands to repeat what he had done with Teyla, only to find his wrists gripped by steel fingers. "I'm just trying to help you, big guy," John grunted, as the bones in his wrists practically scraped together. Apparently the contact was good enough for the twins to envelope Ronon. His body twitched and he snarled, suddenly tossing John away from him. He hit the rock wall hard and fell to the ground, landing on hands and knees and panting against the sharp pain in his ribs.

A primal howl rent the air then Ronon was on his knees before toppling over to his side to lie still.

Carson looked between him and John.

"Help him," John whispered, gesturing at Ronon. "I'm good." He forced himself to his feet and stumbled over to them.

Ronon stirred and sat up abruptly, eyes wide, lips twisted in a snarl, body tense and ready to react. He looked haunted until Carson clapped him on the shoulder. "Where are we?" Ronon asked.

John answered. "Back in the ruins." He eyeballed Beckett. "Okay...your turn." The twins, or rather the mist they had become, were hovering around him and John felt it - felt them - like flames licking at his skin. He was hot and prickly and his stomach twisted with nausea. He wanted to get this over with.

"I think I'll be alright," Carson protested, even as he reached for John. "But you're not looking all that well, Colonel. Sit down."

"You're not alright," John shot back, then he hissed in pain as Beckett eased him to the ground. He gripped the other man's forearm and was content to let the twins do their thing, watching their shimmery form envelope Beckett then fade away back into human form. The prickly heat feeling faded as well, but John was left feeling worn out and still nauseous. Add to that the headache that was forming in his temples to compete with the pain in his side.

Carson was shuddering next to John but managed to recover and slip into doctor mode. He tried to examine his patient but was pushed away with a shaky hand.

John pointed at Teyla and Ronon. "Get their...get their cuffs off. Key's in my vest...pocket." He was so tired that talking wore John out, to the point that he let his eyes slide closed and he didn't feel Beckett patting him down in search of the key.

The next moment of awareness John had was to the sensation of motion. He peeled his eyes open and the walls were moving. No...he was moving. It felt, suspiciously, like he was being carried. A turn of his head and sure enough, he was cradled in Ronon's arms and that pissed John off. He struggled to free himself only to have the strong arms tighten, just enough to make his ribs hurt and John went still. "Stop!" he commanded, albeit a bit breathlessly. It was hard to suck in a lungful of air without something hurting.

To John's surprise, and gratitude, Ronon stopped. "Put me down," John ordered. The moment he was placed back on his feet, he realized he needed to be careful about what he asked for. His knees buckled and if Ronon hadn't been supporting him, he would have crumpled to the ground. "Shit.." John muttered, trying to catch both his balance and his breath.

"We can help you," Deyenne offered, appearing before him.

"How?" John ignored the way Ronon was staring at him. It sucked being the only person who could see the twins.

Deyenne reached for him. "Close your eyes," she instructed, as she touched his face.

John did as he was told and he felt a soothing warmth wrap around him immediately, leeching away the pain and leaving behind a pleasing sort of numbness.

"Better?" Deyenne asked, as she let her hand fall.

"Better," John replied, shrugging Ronon's arm off him. "I'm okay," he said to the warrior. Really."

Carson bustled over to him. "I think I'll be the judge of that, Colonel," he stated, and he was already assessing him. "You're color just got better and your pulse isn't so thready." He looked both pleased and a bit scared. "Let me guess...the twins?"

John sighed and nodded. "Deyenne. I feel pretty good at the moment so let's keep going." He turned to Deyenne. "I take it we're heading for the lab?"

"Yes. I think." Beckett looked rattled. "We've been following the light. It was Teyla's suggestion."

"Teyla," John echoed, turning to search her out. She smiled as he caught her eye. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged. "Better, but not myself."

John nodded. He understood exactly what he meant. Right now he felt almost as if he were in someone else's skin. He turned to Ronon. "How are you doing, big guy?"

"I'll let you know when this is over," Ronon replied. He looked angry yet determined in a way that was vaguely threatening.

"Feeling any violent urges?" John queried, because he felt that was something they all needed to know. Ronon could inflict some real damage on all of them if he lost control.

Big hands clenched into fists. "I feel something but I'm okay for now," he stated. "We should keep going."

John couldn't agree more. He turned to Deyenne. "Hey...where's your brother." It was odd not seeing them together.

"He has gone ahead to prepare things," Deyenne replied. "We had hoped you would come but we were afraid to make things ready in case you did not."

"Oh." John didn't know what else to say to that, but her words left him feeling unsettled in a way he couldn't explain. "Let's not keep him waiting then," he said, gesturing for her to precede him. He fell into step behind her with the others following in their wake. "Deyenne...is the lab functional?" John held his breath after asking, because if it was in ruins they were screwed. Big time.

She turned back to him, her face alight with excitement. "It is undamaged and fully functional, Sheppard. We have taken good care of it."

John felt relief rush through him. "That's good, really good."

"What's good?" Carson prompted, moving to John's side.

"The lab is fully functional," John explained, because he realized the others were hearing just one side of a conversation that, while making him look Looney Tunes, was probably also very frustrating from their point of view.

Carson looked skeptical as he studied John a moment, but then he nodded. "I see. Will we be there soon?"

That was a good question and John turned to Deyenne, waiting for a reply.

"Not much further," she responded.

John relayed the message then they continued in silence. He tried not to react to the feel of Ronon's eyes boring into his back. He realized the Satedan believed he was truly losing his grip on reality. John supposed he couldn't blame him for thinking that. So he focused on studying their surroundings, only there wasn't much to see. Rock walls and rubble strewn across the pathway in spots. Only suddenly they began to descend down an incline.

"We're heading below ground," Ronon commented.

"Far below," Deyenne said, for John's benefit.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that. John wasn't claustrophobic by any means, but the walls were starting to feel a bit as if they were closing in on him. He had to wonder if maybe it was part of the madness. "Deyenne...is there a cure for this? For what's wrong with us?"

She stopped walking and John followed suit, gesturing for the other's to do the same. "There is a cure," Deyenne said softly. "My mother was successful at creating it before she died. We saved the knowledge in her memory."

"That's good to know," John said, then he turned to Beckett. "Deyenne just told me that her mother perfected the cure before she died, so we're going to be okay."

"Don't be jumping the gun here, Colonel," Carson countered, looking almost apologetic. "To be honest, I'm not sure you're seeing what you think you're seeing. I mean...I realize the twins are real to you, but since the rest of us still can't see them...I'm not all that willing to believe what they might tell you."

John felt a flare of anger at that but he tamped it down. He knew he would feel the same if their positions were reversed. Seeing was believing after all. "When we reach the lab you'll see," he stated, emphatically. "They'll show you. You can do the magic that you do and make the serum, or whatever it is, and cure us all. Then we can go back home." John felt excitement at that thought overriding his anger.

Teyla touched his arm and smiled at him. "That would be nice," she said, warmly.

"Yeah." John sensed that she was patronizing him a bit, but he didn't care. Maybe this was just some huge hallucination. IF so then they were going to die anyway, but they might as well go out with a heart full of hope.

Deyenne had watched the exchange with a neutral expression, but now she touched John on the shoulder. "Time to go," she said, turning to lead them on again.

John followed her knowing that the others would be right behind her. They walked for another hour, continuing lower and lower into the bowels of the earth until they reached a door. A silver door. John saw etches on it that he recognized as Ancient. "Do we need a password?" he asked Deyenne, teasing her a bit.

"Just touch the door," she told him, not grasping his humor.

So John did and the door slid aside, allowing him to enter. He did so with anticipation and not a bit of wonder as he entered what looked to him like something from out of this world, or any other.


	8. Chapter 8

My thanks to everyone for the fabulous reviews and for your patience. Probably won't be posting again till after xmas. Then again...one never knows with me. You all rock.

* * *

The room before them was circular and multi-leveled. It vaguely reminded John of the myriad of staircases in depicted in the Harry Potter movies. But instead of leading to doors the stairs lead to different platforms and, thankfully, the staircases weren't moving.

Deyenne turned to John and was smiling. "Do you like it?"

"It's impressive," John whispered.

"Aye," Carson said, moving to stand beside him. He didn't know that John was replying to Deyenne.

Ronon and Teyla crowded around them.

Teyla looked in awe. "I've never seen anything like this," she said softly.

"That makes all of us, I believe," John teased, then his smile faded and he looked at Deyenne. "Can we look around?"

"Of course. Feel free." She pointed to the highest platform. "Dahvi has prepared everything. All you need to do is touch the main console to power it up."

John nodded then headed for the staircase that would lead him to the center of the room. He felt the other's following him but said nothing until he was on the platform. There was a panel with crystals and the outline of a handprint. Instinct told John to touch it and, sure enough, everything lit up. He pulled his hand away and swayed a bit as dizziness washed over him. He was tired.

Carson was by his side, catching him by the shoulder. "You need to rest, Colonel." He was in full doctor mode at the moment.

"I can rest later, when we're fixed," John replied.

"That's going to take a while," Carson reminded him. "I have to go through the archives and such. You need to rest. Can you...um...can you ask the twins if there's a place you can rest?"

John was surprised by the question. "So now you believe me?"

Carson sighed. "It's not that I haven't' wanted to believe you, Colonel. It's just that it's hard to believe what I can't see. But since you've been talking to thin air since we got here, it's preferable to believe that the twins are there. Otherwise I'd not be able to resist the urge to sedate you and head back to Atlantis."

"Fair enough," John allowed, but he didn't ask about resting quarters. He didn't have too. Deyenne touched his other shoulder.

"I will take you to a resting place," she said. "My parent's quarters are close by. There are rooms for all of you but their room was the biggest."

John wasn't sure how he felt about sleeping in any of the rooms, but he nodded to Deyenne. He didn't want to zonk out but he was dead on his feet and he could feel his knees start to buckle. "There are rooms for all of us," he stated.

Carson looked pleased. "Good. I'll get you settled in then see about finding a starting place back here."

"Wait." John resisted when Beckett tried to pull him away. He had noticed Dahvi at the main console, pointing to a workstation. John pointed to it, drawing Beckett's attention. "I think you'll find what you need over there."

"Oh...good then." Carson looked a bit unsettled, but he settled a neutral expression on his face and said, "Now where are the rooms?"

John pulled away again. "I can get there myself, you need to get to work." The sooner Beckett made the cure, the soon they could all get back to Atlantis. But even as John spoke, his knees began to buckle.

Ronon caught him this time. "I'll take him to his room," he announced, and his tone brooked no argument.

"Good, thank you," Carson said, looking relieved. "And I'd appreciate it if you'd stay with him. Let me know how he's doing."

"I was planning on it," Ronon countered.

John glared at both of them. "I don't need a keeper!" he snapped.

Teyla touched his arm. "We are just concerned," she interjected, trying to keep the peace. "You have been through so much and you need to rest. You will be stronger for it." A gentle reminder to him, but offered with steel undertones that brooked no argument.

"Fine...I'll rest." John knew when to strategically retreat. He turned to Deyenne. "Lead the way." As she moved off he shook free of Ronon's grip and followed her.

"Dahvi will stay with your friends and help them," Deyenne said as the climbed a set of stairs that actually led to an open doorway. Then they walked down a narrow hallway.

John frowned, wondering just how Dahvi was going to accomplish that. "They can't see him," he reminded her.

Deyenne looked over her shoulder and smiled. "He will find a way. Here is the room." She stopped and gestured for John to enter.

"Thanks." He did so cautiously, feeling Ronon hot on his heels. The room was large with one wall taken up by a huge bed. John began shucking his gear. He really was exhausted and Teyla was right. He would be better after a nap. Moving to the bed, John stretched out without unlacing his boots. "Wake me in an hour," John told Ronon, who had taken up residence in a nearby chair.

"Sure," Ronon replied, not meeting John's eyes.

John knew what the other man was thinking. He was going to let him sleep. "That's an order," John stated, and he felt a flare of anger when Ronon merely shrugged. Rolling onto his side with his back facing the big guy, John was a bit startled to see Deyenne sitting beside him.

She reached out to comb her fingers through his hair. "Rest, John," she whispered. "I will watch over you."

A part of him wanted to argue the point, but his weariness was weighing him down and John let his eyelids slide closed. A heartbeat later he was drifting into darkness.

Carson found himself caught up in what he was reading. I certainly appeared as if Dr. Jalene Mars had in fact created the cure for the madness that had killed everyone. And after more study, it appeared that the lab contained everything that Carson would need to recreate the serum. The work itself was fascinating and he could have easily lost himself in it, but Carson reminded himself that he had a job to do. So he pulled himself away from Dr. Mars' journals and notes and began giving Teyla directions on what to do so he could get started.

She eyed him as she went to work. "You seem more relaxed, Dr. Beckett."

"I feel hopeful," he replied. "I think this just might work."

"That is good news." Teyla allowed hope to show on her own face.

Carson nodded. "Aye...it is. How are you feeling, lass? Any feelings like before?" He hadn't felt anything himself, other than a few twitches of anxiety. Which were to be expected.

Teyla shook her head as she moved to retrieve a container full of vials from a nearby shelf. "I feel fine. Do you think Colonel Sheppard is all right? He did not look well."

"I think if anything was seriously wrong at the moment, Ronon would let us know," Carson replied. Truthfully, he was worried about Sheppard, but he knew he needed to keep his focus on the serum right now. For all their sakes.

"You are right," Teyla allowed. "What do you need me to do next?"

Carson gestured to the third level. "Check up there and see if you can find anything that looks like syringes." That said, he reimersed himself in the files. With a bit of luck, this might all be over for them soon and they would be able to return home. To Atlantis.

_He felt anxious. He knew he was being watched. Everyone was watching him. He tried to tune them out but they kept creeping closer to him, invading his personal space._

_He reached behind him and grabbed a knife. He slashed the air with it, warning them to keep away. But they kept coming. Closer and closer and he backed away until he hit a wall. He was trapped._

_Heartbeat thumping against his ribs, it echoed in his ears, drowning out his own pleas to be left alone. When they moved too close he lashed out at them. Slicing into soft flesh, carving death into their skin._

_He walked through the river of blood, leaving footprints for the others to follow. He ran now, faster and faster, but he could hear them coming. Calling his name. There was nowhere to run, no place where he could hide. _

_He turned the knife, pressing the sharp edge to the inside of his forearm. He pressed in deep, dragging the blade over his flesh until it peeled away. Over and over and over again until he was part of the river. Until he was bleeding away._

"SHEPPARD!"

John opened his eyes at the sound of his name, feeling panic clutching at him hard, suffocating him. He felt hands on him, hard fingers gripping his wrists. He looked down and saw the lines of red on his skin. Blood. "No...no!" John tried to break away but the hands held fast. He kicked out hard, again and again and suddenly he was free. He scrambled off the bed and slammed into the wall. He had to escape.

He saw the doorway and the silhouette of a woman. She was calling to him and he had to follow. So he ran as fast as he could, reaching out to her, blood dripping from his arm. He could hear the splatter of each drop hitting the floor. It echoed, too loudly, in skull, making his head ache.

Almost there and something hit him. He thudded to the floor, ribs screaming in pain, his own voice raw and harsh in his throat. A heavy weight pinned him down and John fought against it. He heard a voice shouting. Shouting words that didn't make sense, and he fought harder.

"Beckett...I need you! Sheppard is flipping out!" There was desperation in Ronon's tone as he struggled to keep John pinned to the floor.

"What's going on?" Carson shot back.

Ronon hissed as Sheppard's foot connected with shin and he shifted so he was braced over him, Sheppard's legs now tucked between his own. "I don't know but you need to get in here! Now!" he shouted back.

Carson cursed then replied, "On my way."

"Sheppard." Ronon tried to reason with him, but John continued struggling against him and Ronon was finding it hard to keep his grip on Sheppard's arms since they were slick with blood.

"Bloody hell!" Carson appeared in the doorway. He stared at the sight before him for a moment, then he moved to kneel beside them, rummaging in his doctor's bag. "I'll need to sedate him." He was preparing a syringe.

Ronon grunted then pressed down harder, trying to keep Sheppard as still as possible. "Now would be good," he stated.

Carson nodded then gripped John's shoulder and plunged the needle home. John howled, struggled harder for a moment, then went limp. Carson caught his breath and held it as he checked for a pulse. A bit thready but strong enough. "We need to get him on the bed."

"Sure." Ronon released Sheppard, wiped his hands on his pants then leaned in to gather him in his arms. He lifted Sheppard and carried him to the bed, laying him down gently.

"What happened?" Carson asked, as he shouldered in and began examining Sheppard's arms. The bloody grooves were deep and he saw the skin under the man's fingernails.

Ronon moved to sit in the chair, falling into it heavily. He wiped a forearm over his brow then said, "I don't know. He was sleeping and he got restless. He was turned away from me and I couldn't see what he was doing. But then he started mumbling something and when I rolled him onto his back I saw the blood. Then his eyes opened but he was looking right through me, then he started struggling. He got away and made for the door. I tackled him and called you."

Carson grabbed his bag and pulled out some disinfectant and a roll of gauze. "I'll bind him up and give him an antibiotic, just to play it safe. This is bad though. If he's slipping into madness again...I don't know what I can do to help."

"Maybe the twins can help him," Ronon offered.

"Maybe they could!" Carson snapped. "But how do you suggest we go about asking them when we can't see them?" He didn't mean to take his anger out on Ronon, but Carson was scared and worried. If Sheppard went under on them, he didn't know what chance the rest of them had.

Ronon was unruffled by Beckett's ire. "How are you coming with the serum?"

Carson sighed and counted to ten. He knew he needed to relax. He continued bandaging Sheppard's arms as he replied. "It's moving slowly. I won't have anything viable for a couple of days. It's actually not all that difficult because Dr. Mars's notes are simple and impeccable. But the process is time consuming."

"Do we have the time?" Ronon asked. Being blunt as usual.

"I hope so." Carson studied Sheppard's face. He was pale and so still it was almost frightening.

Ronon stood up and moved to the bed. "Maybe you should put him in restraints."

Carson had been thinking the same thing but he rather hated the idea of having to do so. Then again, they couldn't really run the risk of Sheppard hurting himself or someone else. "See if you can find something."

Ronon's reply was to point to a spot next to where Beckett was standing.

"What the...?" Carson looked down to see straps already attached to the side of the bed. "Convenient," he commented.

Ronon just watched him work.

John knew he wasn't awake, but this didn't felt like dreaming. He knew that Deyenne was with him and that something had happened. He wished he could open his eyes, and yet he didn't need to do that to see her.

"Rest, John," Deyenne whispered, her fingers combing through his hair again. "I am watching over you."

"You're in my head?" He knew it had to be true because neither of them were actually talking out loud. And since he wasn't awake, he wouldn't be anyway.

Deyenne smiled at him. "In a sense...yes. We are connected on a level that is hard to explain."

John glared at her. "Try."

"You would not understand. But you are safe. I want you to be well again, John." Deyenne's fingers continued smoothing his hair as she spoke.

"Something happened." John didn't know what but he was positive something wasn't right.

A soft sigh and Deyenne pulled away from him. "For you to understand what needs to be done to save you all, there are things I must show you. It is difficult for you to separate reality when this happens, but it is necessary. I will guide you through it, John. You must trust me."

John didn't bother to explain to her that he had trust issues stemming back to his childhood. Instead he felt a warm darkness wrapping around him and he drifted into it and away.


	9. Chapter 9

He came awake with a jolt of aching lucidity. He knew where he was and he understood what he had seen. What Deyenne had been trying to show him. John felt nauseous at the memory of what he had seen, and she had told him that it was not over yet. That there was more he needed to understand. He didn't want to think about that now. Right now he needed to talk to Beckett. So John tried to sit up but he couldn't move far with his wrists bound to the sides of the bed. "What the…?" The words were little more than a croak, but someone heard him.

Ronon moved to the side of the bed, his eyes watchful. "How you feel?" he asked.

"You tell me." John managed to make his words more articulate, but the effort cost him. He started coughing and trying to curl into himself as pain radiated from pretty much every nerve ending in his body. Then Ronon was suddenly there, holding a water bottle to his lips while somehow supporting John's shuddering body. A few spluttered sips and enough went down his throat to ease the attack. John found himself able to breathe again. He felt Ronon watching him with patient eyes. After a time he asked, "What happened?" As he spoke he tugged on the restraints.

"You flipped out." Ronon was succinct.

John felt himself grow cold. "Did I hurt anyone?"

Ronon shook his head. "Just yourself." He pointed to John's arm.

"I don't remember..." John whispered, as he gazed at the bandage wrapped around his forearm. Only just then he did remember and his stomach lurched. Swallowing hard he was able to keep it down, but he slumped against the pillows, still fighting the nausea. "I need to see Beckett," he said softly.

"I'll call him." Ronon put actions to words then, suddenly, Beckett was there.

Reaching for John's wrist, Carson queried, "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

John winced then decided to be honest. "Like shit. What happened to me?"

"You'd know better than I would," Carson countered, looking worried. "Are you in pain?" He was checking the bandages on John's arm then running a gentle hand down his sore side. He pulled back when John flinched.

"I wouldn't mind some Tylenol about now," John confessed. His body was one massive ache. But he needed to focus on what mattered. "Can you take these off?" he asked, tugging on the restraints.

Carson looked regretful as he shook his head. "Not right this moment, Colonel. Sorry. I don't think that would be wise until we can be sure you'll stay lucid."

A snappy reply was on the tip of John's tongue when Deyenne suddenly appeared beside him and John became distracted. She looked off somehow and that made him nervous. "What's wrong?" he asked her.

Before Deyenne could reply, Carson responded, not realizing the girl was in the room. "Everything is wrong," he stated, heaving a put upon sigh.

"Not you," John shot back, tugging restlessly at the restraints. They were starting to become annoying, making him feel trapped and not in control. Which, he realized, he wasn't really. Which made him feel all the more anxious. Feeling Beckett's surprised gaze upon him, John realized he needed to explain. "Deyenne is here, I was talking to her."

"Oh...I see." Carson looked uncomfortable, his gaze shifting about the room. "Where is she?"

John pointed as best he could, given his bound wrist.

Carson nodded and pretty much glared in that direction. "So why are you asking her what's wrong? Did something happen?"

"I haven't had a chance to get an answer yet!" John's tone was sharp but he was unrepentant. He was tired and he hurt and he just wanted this over with. Turning to Deyenne again, he asked, "Did something happen?"

"You are running out of time," Deyenne replied. "The other one...Teyla...she is falling ill again."

John was not happy to hear that. "What? Are you sure?" He yanked at the restraints now, almost growling in frustration. "Get these damn things off of me! NOW!" He directed the order at Ronon, expecting to be obeyed.

Ronon studied him a moment, shrugged, then moved to undo John's right arm.

"What are you doing?" Carson exclaimed, looking horrified.

"What I was ordered to do," Ronon replied. He reached over John to undo the other arm.

John patted Ronon's shoulder. "Thanks." Then he sat up and focused solely on Deyenne. "What's wrong with Teyla?"

Carson made a choked sound. "Something's wrong with Teyla? She was fine a minute ago." He made to tap his earpiece.

"Wait." John stopped him, his attention still mainly focused on Deyenne. "Are you saying she's falling ill again?"

"Yes. She is trying to hide it, but yes." Deyenne looked contrite. "You must hurry with the serum, John. You must tell the doctor what he must do. Remember what you saw and tell him to hurry."

John remembered all too well the images he had seen. Seen and felt. Death and madness and something else that left him feeling cold inside. But he knew that she meant something else. He turned to Beckett. "Is the serum ready?"

Carson looked queasy, but nodded. "I think so. It's prepared but not yet ready for testing."

"Why not?" John was pushing off the bed as he asked, rising to stand on shaky legs. He was grateful for Ronon's hand on his arm to steady him.

"I need to recheck that I've done everything properly," Carson explained. "If I did just one thing wrong it could kill us."

John shook his head. "We don't have time for that." He headed for the door, Ronon moving with him and John knew the big guy would be there if he stumbled.

Carson rushed to catch up. "Where are you going? You shouldn't be out of bed. You still have a fever!"

"How are you feeling, Ronon?" John asked. He glanced at the Satedan, seeing Deyenne hovering close by, her expression saying what he knew Ronon wouldn't.

"I'm good," Ronon stated, and his expression dared John to argue with him.

John knew there was no point in calling Ronon on the lie. He looked to Deyenne who nodded. Ronon was falling ill too. Trying to move as swiftly as he could, John made his way back to the lab, ignoring Beckett's monologue of why he needed to get back in bed. Once there, John saw Teyla lying in a heap on the second level. He grabbed Ronon by the forearm. "Go!" He watched the other man run down the stairs. He watched Beckett follow more slowly. "How is she?" he called out, once Beckett had a moment to examine Teyla.

Carson looked pale as he looked at John. "Not good."

Deyenne moved to face John. "You must hurry. You must take the serum now."

"Get the serum!" John ordered. "Ronon...bring Teyla." Orders given, he headed back the way he had come. He lingered near the doorway to the bedroom he had just left, and when Ronon appeared with Teyla he nodded at the room across the hall. "Put her there and stay with her," he ordered. He watched Ronon nod then disappear into the room.

"Colonel...what are you doing?" Carson queried, as he finally caught up.

John glared at him. "Do you have the serum?"

Carson held up a small vial. "I have it."

"Give it to me." John turned and headed into the room. He stretched out on the bed, moving carefully, biting his lip to hold back a cry of pain.

"This could kill you," Carson argued, as he moved to the side of the bed.

John knew that better than anyone. "If you don't try, Teyla will die. We all will. Just do it."

Carson looked like he was going to argue, but then he shook himself and pulled a capped syringe from the pocket of the lab coat he was wearing. He prepared it then reached for John's arm. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," John replied, but he pulled away when Deyenne said his name. "What now?" he snapped at her.

"You forgot to tell him the rest of what you saw," she reminded him.

John had forgotten. He pulled his arm free of Beckett's grasp for the moment, then he locked eyes with the doctor. "I don't know what's going to happen to me. But once you're certain I'm…cured. Use my blood to make a serum for the rest of you. Just make it fast. There's a file coded Mars. Follow the instructions to make the serum."

Carson looked confused. "Why wouldn't we use the same one?"

"I'll explain why later. Just do as I say." John was stalling somewhat because he really wasn't all that sure why himself. All he knew was that he trusted Deyenne. He had no choice but to trust her. Something suddenly occurred to him though. "Where is your brother?"

"Nearby," Deyenne said, smiling at John. "Do not worry about anything but getting well, John."

He nodded. "Right." Turning back to Beckett, he held his arm out. "Let's do this." John watched as Carson tapped a vein then inserted the needle. It stung a bit but that tiny discomfort was forgotten as liquid fire rushed throughout his body, sizzling in his blood.

John didn't hear the scream that escaped him. He didn't realize his body went into convulsions.

He knew nothing but white-hot pain.


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks to everyone for the great reviews. RL has been insane with the holidays...so I'm going slow with this story. And, to be honest, I almost ditched it but a few people have kicked me so I'm slowly getting motivated again. I have another story idea eating away at me but have vowed to finish this before I start that one. So be patient. Thanks again for your support:D Oh...and I'll be having help to finish this one. Kodiak bear has consented to help me. YAY!

* * *

_He saw everything through a haze of red. He saw people that seemed strangely familiar. Moving about, interacting. Living life. Then he saw death and bodies littered everywhere, footsteps imprinted everywhere, red tracks moving in endless circles. Blood flowing freely. _

_He felt pain and it dissected him. It burned him from the inside out, searing away his skin._

_He clung to his sanity, all the while wondering if he had ever really been sane. Or maybe what he experienced now was the true reality. The doubt and fear and wonder and all the other emotions were just props. Reality was feeling nothing._

"Colonel!"

The voice was familiar. He knew the voice. But John didn't want to follow it. He was floating now, drifting in cool darkness. There was no more pain, just quiet stillness.

"Colonel...if you can hear me I need you to open your eyes."

"Is he breathing?" asked a deeper voice.

John wanted them to go away but he knew they wouldn't. He could hear the urgency in the first voice and suddenly he remembered. The virus that was killing them. Teyla. John forced his heavy eyelids to open even as he croaked out Beckett's name.

Carson looked surprised but relieved, a hand going to John's wrist, fingers taking a pulse. "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

"Been...better," John whispered, then a tickle formed and he started coughing and that made every muscle in his body ache. Then Beckett was there with a water bottle and John managed a tiny sip. He tried turning his head but it felt too heavy. "Teyla?"

"She's not doing well." Carson looked dejected.

John closed his eyes a minute then forced them open again. "How...how long was I out?" It surprised him how weak his voice was, how weak he felt.

Carson glanced at his watch then said, "It's been about three hours."

"That's all?" John was surprised. He thought for certain that days had passed.

"That's all," Carson confirmed. His palm pressed flat to John's forehead. "Your fever is still high. I don't think it's over yet."

John wasn't listening. He managed to turn his head, searching the room. Then he called out, "Deyenne!"

She appeared before him, looking worried.

"Am I better?" John asked, knowing they were running out of time.

"Yes. You are better." She moved closer, one hand reaching out to touch his hair.

John felt a jolt of absolute relief, but knew better than to get his hopes up. "Better enough to help Teyla?"

Deyenne drew her hand back, looking grim. "She is fading fast. It will take a few hours for Beckett to make the serum."

"Can I heal her?" John didn't hesitate to ask, hearing Beckett's gasp beside him. Then a heavy hand on his arm.

"You can't do that," Carson stated, emphatically. "You're not strong enough, Colonel."

John ignored him, focusing only on Deyenne. He sensed that she was willing. "If you and Dahvi do your thing, can we heal Teyla long enough for Beckett to make the serum?"

A smile curved Deyenne's mouth. "Yes...but it will weaken you."

"I'll take that chance," John stated, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. He turned back to Beckett, seeing the scowl on the other man's face. He glared at the doctor. "Deyenne said we can heal Teyla long enough for you to make the serum." When Beckett opened his mouth to argue, John gripped his arm. Albeit weakly. But he clenched his fingers and locked eyes with Beckett, willing him to understand that they had no other choice. "Time is running out, doc," John said softly. "You need to take my blood and get to work on the serum."

"Aye." Carson didn't look happy about it, but he seemed to get the fact that they had no other options. So he reached for his medical bag, pulled out a syringe, and took John's blood. "I don't like this," he stated, as he capped the syringe.

John almost laughed at that. Almost. "Me either. But we do what we have to do." He made a move to sit up, hating the fact that his head spun and he felt nauseous and his arms trembled so much they wouldn't hold him. If he had enough breath he would cursed, but suddenly strong hands were helping him and when the dizziness passed, John opened his eyes to see Ronon standing there. "Thanks," he said, then he looked at Beckett. "Do what you have to do, I'll take care of Teyla."

Carson looked about to argue, but he nodded instead and stood up. "Be careful," he threw over his shoulder, as he headed for the door.

"Always," John whispered, knowing Beckett couldn't hear him. He then looked at Ronon. "Help me up. I have to get to Teyla." The next thing John knew he was on his feet with Ronon's arm around his waist, supporting him. But he hadn't taken three steps when he knew he wasn't going to make it. His legs felt like jelly and every muscle in his body was refusing to do his bidding. John was so weak it was making him dizzy. "Shit!" He hissed, beneath his breath, only to swallow the curse in a gasp as he found himself swept upwards without warning. It took him a moment to realize he was in Ronon's arms. "Put me down!" John gritted between clenched teeth.

"If I put you down you're going to fall on your face," Ronon shot back, looking unsuitably impressed with John's order.

John knew Ronon was right, but that didn't make him feel any better. "Fine...then I'll crawl. But put me down!" They didn't have time for this.

Apparently Ronon agreed because he simply strode out the door and across the hallway into Teyla's room. Once there he, gently, deposited John on the bed.

"At least tell me I'm heavy," John muttered, as Ronon settled him carefully. It bothered him the ease with which Ronon manhandled him.

"Eat more and you might be," Ronon replied, then he was reaching out to touch Teyla's pale face. "She looks dead."

That sent fear rippling through John. He shifted onto his side and felt for a pulse. It beat weak and thready against his fingertips. "Barely," he whispered, then he lifted his head and was relieved to see Deyenne and Dahvi standing next to the bed. "I'm ready," he told them. A moment later the twins moved to John and took his hands, linking them together. John closed his eyes as they faded into mist and enveloped him. He felt the warmth spreading throughout him and John reached out for Teyla, pressing his hands into her flesh, willing her to heal.

Time shorted out and the next thing John knew Ronon was calling his name. He opened his eyes, searching for Teyla. She was staring back at him. "Hey," he said. "How ya doing?"

"Better," she breathed, but it was obviously an effort on her part to talk.

"Rest," John told her. "Beckett is working on the cure. You'll be fine soon." He watched as she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.

Ronon moved into his line of sight. "You need to rest too," he said, then he was settling a blanket over John and Teyla. "I'll keep watch."

John nodded, and his eyes were drifting closed when he heard Deyenne's voice in his head.

"Soon, John. Soon everything will be as it was meant to be."

He wanted to reply to that, to ask what she meant, but exhaustion dragged him down into warm darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

Hellooooooooo everyone. Bet you never expected to see this story again. Heh. Me either. But it was driving me nuts. I have to finish it. So that's what I'm going to do, nearly a year later. It seems to be going in a totally different direction than I originally intended and will probably suck the big one. But at least it will be done and I can move on. ::nods::

Thanks for sticking with me, those of you who have muddled through. I really appreciate it.

**AMONG THE RUINS...part 11**

John came awake to the sound of whispering. Not talking though, singing. He peeled his eyes open and was surprised to see Deyenne sitting beside him on the bed. She was the one singing. It surprised him, although it probably shouldn't have. He could talk to him, so why wouldn't she be able to sing? But it creeped him out for reasons he didn't want to think about, despite the fact that the song was actually quite lovely. It sounded rather like a lullaby.

But it stopped abrubtly.

"You're awake," Deyenne said, shifting closer to him.

"Guess so," John croaked, trying to sit up. He managed to manuever the pillows behind him and then he remembered what had happened. Turning his head, he was relieved to see Teyla resting beside him. Her color was back to normal and she looked peaceful. John reached out to her with a shaking hand, needing to feel for a pulse. He felt relief wash over him in a wave when a strong beat thumped against his skin.

Deyenne was watching him closely. "Teyla is doing well," she said to him. "They all are."

John turned his head, searching for Ronon and Carson, finally looking down at the floor when Deyenne pointed in that direction. Carson and Ronon were both curled up there, wrapped in blankets. They looked like themselves again. The feeling of relief made John feel almost giddy, and he closed his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. After a few, shuddery, breaths to calm himself, he opened his eyes and asked, "How long have I been out of it?"

"You've been drifting in and out of awareness for two days," Deyenne replied. "The others were worried about you. "

"That's what friends do," John said softly. "They worry." But it was wonderful to let that worry go, like a heavy weight shifting off him and leaving him feeling a bit floaty. He was feeling floaty in another sense as well. He needed to use the bathroom. He sat up, gripping the sheets to steady himself, and pushed off the bed. His legs felt like rubber and John had to lock his knees for a moment, but then he was moving to the bathroom, determined to get there even if he had to crawl.

Halfway there his knees buckled and he prepared himself to hit the floor when strong hands gripped him and steadied him. Somehow John wasn't the least bit surprised to find Ronon holding him. The big guy could move with the speed and silence of a cat. "Thanks." John was grateful for the rescue.

Ronon helped him into the bathroom. "Should have called me," he chided, before stepping outside and closing the door.

Which effectively cut John off from responding. Not that he cared about that right now. He took care of business, washed his hands and took a moment to check his reflection in the mirror. He was paler than normal and his eyes were ringed with shadows, but he figured some rest and he'd be fine. The moment they were back in Atlantis he would lock himself in his room and sleep for days. Then he would be as good as new.

"You done?" Ronon asked, having entered the room without John noticing.

"I'm done," John conceded, accepting Ronon's support to get him back to the bed. He found Carson awake and waiting for him. He didn't argue over being pushed back down and fussed over. He was too tired to argue right now.

Carson gave him a quick once over then asked, "How are you feeling, Colonel?"

John considered for a moment, wondering how to answer it briefly yet honestly. Finally he smiled and said, "Alive." Because that was it in a nutshell. He was alive, his team mates were alive. That made him feel pretty damn good, inspite of feeling exhausted.

"Aye, that you are," Carson replied, grinning. He obviously got what John meant.

"You okay, Doc?" John countered. "All of you?"

Carson nodded. "We're fine."

John felt a touch on his shoulder and turned his head to see that Teyla was awake and smiling at him. "Welcome back," John said to her.

"It is good to be back," she replied. "Thank you, John." She leaned in to touch their foreheads together in the way of her people.

"Any time," he said, feeling a bit embarrassed. So he was grateful when Carson garnered his attention again.

"Are you hungry?" the Scotsman asked his charge, concern glittering in his blue eyes.

It took John a moment to realize that the hollow feeling in his stomach was hunger. "I could eat," he allowed, and he chuckled when Ronon tossed him a powerbar, right on cue. But after only one bite, John set it aside. His stomach decided to protest against him.

Carson tutted at him. "You need to eat, son," he scolded him, sounding so close to John's grandmother that it made him flinch. 

"I'll eat when we get back to Atlantis," John replied, because he was more than ready to go home. He had questions he wanted answers too, like what had happened after he'd passed out and all, but those could wait. Since everyone was okay now, he just wanted out of this place.

"I'm ready to go home," Ronon interjected.

Teyla was nodding. "Yes. It will be nice to be back. I am certain the others are most worried about us."

Carson sighed. "I think I was worried about us enough for everyone," he stated, and no one argued the point.

John knew they had cut it a little too close this time. He'd be happy with staying on Altantis and chilling out. At least for a little while. "Everyone get their gear together and we'll head out," he said, hearing the eagerness in his own voice.

"I think it would be best if you rested for a while first," Carson countered, his eyes roving over John critically. He had his doctor's face on, arms folded over his chest and his tone firm.

"I can rest later," John protested, because he really really wanted to go home.

Teyla patted his arm, her eyes brimming with sympathy. But for all that she took Carson's side. "Rest for a bit, John. We need to gather our things and I know that Carson wanted to collect some samples to take back with us."

He wanted to argue with her, but a jaw-cracking yawn took him off guard and made whatever he might have said a moot point. So he scowled at them all, but he stayed put, allowing Carson to cover him with a blanket. "I'll rest for two hours," John said. "Then we head back."

"That'll do," Carson allowed. He patted John on the shoulder then turned and headed out the door.

"I will help him collect our things," Teyla said, sliding off the bed.

John had rather expected her to stay. "Don't you need to rest too?" he countered. After all, she had been the sickest of them all, so it didn't seem fair that she was better off than he was.

As if reading his mind, Teyla smiled at him and said, "I have rested for the past two days. Thanks to you I am much better now. But you had to sacrifice much to make us well. You have earned your rest, John."

"Have you been taking lessons in diplomacy from Elizabeth?" John groused, pouting a little.

"I am merely reminding you of the facts," Teyla replied. Then she was moving towards the door as well.

Which left only Ronon. Deyenne had been gone when John returned from the bathroom. He rather wondered where she was, but shook off the thought when Ronon jerked a thumb towards the door.

"I'm gonna go explore a bit before we leave," he stated.

"Don't go far," John warned, before trying to stifle another yawn.

Ronon shrugged at him then left.

John curled up on his side and let his eyes drift closed. He might as well sleep since everyone had abandoned him and, if he were honest with himself, he was tired. He knew the rest would do him good, especially if he wanted to leave this place under his own steam. And no way in hell was he going back through the gate being carried like a baby in Ronon's arms. John felt a flare of embarrassment remembering how easily Ronon had carried him before.

"John."

He stirred at the sound of his name, forcing his eyes open and blinking hard to bring Deyenne's face into focus. "Hey," he said softly. A part of him was going to miss her. A very small part. Although John was grateful to her and her brother. They wouldn't be alive without them.

Deyenne smiled at him, looking serene. "Come with me, John," she said. "I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise?" He hadn't expected that and he found himself sitting up then sliding off the bed in search of his boots. "This won't take long, will it?" John knew Carson would read him the riot act if he didn't rest. John's own body was yelling at him as it was, wanting him to lie down again. He ignored it. He would go with Deyenne because he owed her that much.

"Come." Deyenne reached for his hand, her fingers wrapping tightly around his.

John felt a chill ripple over him at her touch and he had to fight the urge to pull away. After a moment, he felt the chill turn to a warmth that seeped through him and he found himself feeling less tired. He realized that it was Deyenne giving him the energy. "Thanks," John whispered.

She smiled at him and led him away. They walked down the hall, through a doorway, then climbed some stairs. They opened up to a landing and Deyenne guided John over to an arched doorway.

He stepped inside and saw a suite of rooms. There was an area that was set up like a livingroom, which opened up to a set of shallow steps and another doorway. It was through there that Deyenne led John and he stared at the richness of the room laid out before him. It was huge, with tapestried walls and a giant bed.

"You may bathe in here and I have laid out clothes for you, John." Deyenne looked almost luminous as she spoke.

"What's this all about?" John countered, unable to ignore a sudden stirring of suspicion.

Deyenne looked surprised at the question. "You have been ill and I thought the chance to refresh yourself would be welcome," she replied, sounding innocent enough.

John had to admit to himself that it was tempting. He stepped into the bathroom and studied the shower area. The thought of hotwater and soap and feeling clean and fresh suddenly overwhelmed him. "Thanks," he said to Deyenne. "I think I will wash up."

"I will leave you to it," she replied, drifting out of the room.

It didn't take John long to strip off his wrinkled, and rather stinky, uniform and step into the shower area. He touched the indented tiles on the wall and warm water rained down upon him. He touched another panel and it slid open to reveal a flat bar of what he assumed to be soap. It had a pleasant, almost musky, scent and he used it to scrub his hair and his body, rinsing off slowly as he let the hot water seep into his skin.

He didn't stay in too long though. He knew he needed to get back before someone missed him. So he turned off the water, stepped out and found what passed for towel and dried off. He then went into the bedroom area, after making sure Deyenne wasn't lurking around, and got dressed in the clean clothes that were laid out on the bed. No way in hell did he want to put his uniform back on. So John pulled on dark brown pants the clung to his legs but were suprisingly comfortable, and a long-sleeved, dark green, tunic like shirt. The fit was remarkable. It was if the clothing was made for him. Even the soft, suede like brown boots fit him perfectly.

"They were my fathers," Deyenne said, appearing before John without warning.

"Uh...oh," John replied, trying not to feel too creeped out about that. "Thanks. I appreciate it."

Deyenne moved closer, her image becoming sharply focused. "You need not thank me, John," she replied. "They are yours now. As is everything here."

Her tone startled John more than her words. There was an edge of determination that cut through him like a knife. "Deyenne...I'm not sure what you mean." He wasn't sure he wanted to know either.

"You're home now, John," she said softly, her voice almost sing-song in rythmn. "All of you are home now."

Then she vanished in a red mist, leaving John staring at the emptiness she left behind.

Closing his eyes he let the bad feeling in his gut twist through him as he whispered, "Oh, shit."

**THE END...of part 11**


	12. Chapter 12

**AMONG THE RUINS...part 12**

John made his way back to his team, Deyenne's words echoing in his head. Something about her had changed, and he knew it wasn't a good change. Another not good thing was the look on Beckett's face when he spotted John.

The doctor's face was flushed as he strode over to John. "I told you to stay put and rest!" he yelled, although he did make an attempt to keep the volume a bit hushed.

"I needed a shower," John replied, knowing it was a weak comeback. But it was all he had.

Ronon looked amused and commented, "Nice clothes."

John made a face, looking down at his attired. "Deyenne let me borrow them. Uh, we have a problem." He figured there was no reason to hide what had happened to the others. But before he got a chance to continue, the ground beneath his feet lurched and John stumbled, nearly falling. He felt strong arms catch him and after a few moments he realized he was lying in bed again. He blinked Carson's face into focus and mumbled, "What happened to the floor?"

"What?" Carson looked confused but then he got an aha look on his face and shook his head. "It wasn't the floor, Colonel. It was you. You had a dizzy spell. Hence why I'd told you to stay in bed in the first place."

"Oh." John had the grace to look repentent. At least he hoped he pulled off that look. He had learned, since his first injury on Atlantis, that it was best to have Carson on his side in the long run. Shifting against the pillows, he made the attempt to sit up without being too obvious about it. Ronon, of course, became impatient with his efforts and reaching out simply tugged John upright in one, smooth, motion. Which was nice on the one hand, but gave him another head rush from the abrupt motion, on the other.

Carson tutted. "Ronon, he's not some doll to toss around as you please!" he scolded the Satedan.

Who didn't look the least bit impressed. Ronon simply shrugged and smirked. "Got the job done," he replied.

"Thanks," John interjected, befor the two could get any futher into it. They needed to focus on what was important right now. Getting out of here and back to Atlantis. "Guys, we need to figure out a way to leave here," he said.

"What's to figure out?" Carson countered. "We simply go out the way we came in."

John winced and shook his head. "Not that easy. Remember how I tried before and I needed Deyenne to guide my way?" He watched them all nod. "Well, let's just say we'll need her help again and I don't think she's going to be all that cooperative." As he spoke, John was well aware of the fact that Deyenne and her brother were no doubt listening to their conversation. It also bothered him a bit to realize he hadn't seen Dahvi around for a while.

Teyla moved to his side, sitting on the edge of the mattress. "What makes you believe she will be uncooperative, John?" she asked.

"Something about the way she said I was home now," he replied. "That we were all home now." John waited for the reactions to that. He didn't have long to wait.

"She can't keep us here!" Ronon rumbled.

It was Carson who turned to scowl at him. "Of course she can. She and her brother have more control over this place than we do."

John was almost amused. "It's good to know that you believe they exist now, Doc," he replied. It had bothered him a bit when no one wanted to believe he was telling the truth about the twins.

"I rather wish they didn't right now," Carson confessed, looking a bit sheepish.

"Me too." John sighed, running fingers through his hair and resisting the urge to yank on it in frustration.

Teyla tapped his shoulder, drawing his attention. "So what do we do? Can you talk to Deyenne and explain that we must return home to our people?"

John wished it would be that easy, but he knew it wouldn't be. "I suppose I could try," he allowed. And even as he spoke he shivered, feeling a cold chill wrap around him. He realized it had to be Deyenne.

"Why would they want us to stay anyway?" Carson queried, looking at John.

"Good question," John replied, mentally relaying it to Deyenne, who's presence he could feel almost as if she were trying to climb inside him. He shivered again, heard Carson asking if he was all right, then he slipped away.

John saw a rush of images. He saw Deyenne and Dahvi in a flash of white light. He felt their anger and denial as they were shunned by the others. He felt their loneliness, trapped in this place for ten thousand years with no one but each other for company. And as quick as the images and emotions hit him, they were gone, leaving John shaking and gasping. He felt warm hands on him, and Carson's familiar voice.

"Can you open your eyes for me, Colonel?"

It took John a few tries to succeed. He stared at the concerned faces gazing down at him. "That was not fun," he croaked.

A soothing hand brushed over his forehead. Teyla's hand. "What happened, John?"

"Deyenne just gave me the cliff notes version of why she doesn't want us to leave," he replied. He shifted and made an attempt to get up, only to have Beckett press him back against the pillows. John glared at him. "I'm fine!"

"I'll be the judge of that," Carson shot back, expression grim. "Being the doctor and all." He took John's pulse, studied his face and shook his head. "Do you have a headache or any aches and pains I should know about?"

John realized that his best bet right now was to be honest with Beckett. "I have a headache, I'm achy and tired and a bit weak. I'm betting you all feel that way a bit." He looked at the others and they didn't deny it. John focused on Carson. "You can lock me in the infirmary for a week once we get back to Atlantis," he promised. "Right now, we need to do whatever it takes to get out of here.

Carson didn't look happy, but he nodded and allowed John to swing his legs over the side of the bed. He gripped his arm to help him stand. "Just take it easy," he admonished.

"Working on that," John replied, locking his knees and holding fast as he regained his equilibrium. The room tilted a bit, but it soon passed. He studied the people that surrounded him. A team of people he knew he could trust. A team of people that were trusting him to get them out of there, even as they watched his back. He was going to get them home. "From what Deyenne showed me, I think they ascended but were kicked out. I think the others were afraid they would catch the madness, so to speak. So Deyenne and her brother were sent back here and they...well...they're lonely."

"Which is why they wish for us to stay," Teyla stated.

John nodded. "Seems like."

Carson was frowning. "But they wouldn't be able to catch anything if they were ascended," he muttered, almost to himself.

"Maybe the others didn't know that and didn't want to risk it," Ronon piped up.

Which made sense to John, in so much as anything they were going through right now made sense. He was tired and hurting and he just wanted to go home. He broke away from his team and headed for the door. He heard their footsteps as they followed him.

Carson caught up to him. "Where are we going?"

"To see how far out of here we can get without being stopped," John replied. Which seemed to be answer enough for everyone as they continued on in silence. They didn't have any of their gear but John wasn't concerned with that. Once they were out of this place, connecting with Atlantis would be easy. They had stashed a backpack with weapons, radios and IDC's just in case of emergency. There was food and water and blankets as well. So John's only focus right now was in getting out of the ruins.

"Why can we not see them?" Teyla asked suddenly, breaking the silence.

John stopped walking to look at her. "What do you mean?"

Teyla hesitated, as if not sure how to answer, then she said, "If they are ascended, then should not we all be able to see them? We could see Athar."

"That's a very good point," Carson interjected.

"Athar chose to take human form so we could see her," John replied, even as he pondered Teyla's words. Then he decided it would be best to just ask the source, since he knew that Deyenne was with them. He could feel her. "Are you afraid to show yourself, Deyenne?" John challenged.

There was a crackle of light, a misty shimmer that suddenly became solid, then Deyenne stood before them, almost glowing.

Teyla gasped, Ronon looked for a weapon he didn't have and Carson, frankly, stared.

John felt like laughing as he glanced at his team. He felt suddenly vindicated for their doubting him. He settled for grinning and saying, "Told you so." A little petty of him maybe, but it felt good. Then he focused on Deyenne. "I'm betting you could do that all along."

"I did not have the power before," she replied, looking haughty.

"What do you mean?" Teyla asked, stepping closer to the girl as if entranced by her.

Ronon spoke up before Deyenne could reply to that. He was glowering as he approached the girl. "Why did you hide from us?" he demanded. "You made us doubt Sheppard!" He was angry and he wasn't even making an attempt to hide it.

Deyenne was not in the least bit intimidated. She studied Ronon in a way that said he did little to impress her. "If he was truly your friend, you would have believed in him anyway."

"What's done is done," Carson interjected, perhaps feeling the need to play peace maker. But he did turn to John to say, "I'm sorry for doubting you, Colonel."

"Forget it." John realized it was a hollow victory anyone. They were alive and that's what mattered most to him. That and getting back to Atlantis.

Carson nodded, as if reading John's thoughts, then he spoke to Deyenne. "I wish to thank you, lass, for helping save our lives. We are all very grateful to you." He glanced at Ronon as he spoke, but the Satedan seemed content to do more than glare at Deyenne.

Deyenne shrugged. "If you died then I would alone, so I was happy to help you."

"You do realize that we cannot stay here," Teyla interjected, her tone soft and warm as she attempted to appeal to Deyenne. "We must return to our people."

"You belong here now," Deyenne replied, and the glowy aura of her being seemed to intensify. She was smiling at Teyla, but it was a cold smile.

Something that Deyenne had said a moment ago, struck a chord in John. "Why would you be alone?" he asked, turning Deyenne's attention back onto himself. "Your brother is with you." He didn't like the way her eyes narrowed at his words. Something in his gut twisted and he knew things were going to go from bad to worse. "Where is Dahvi?" John asked. Although he was pretty sure it sounded more like a demand to know.

His team seemed to get his meaning, even as Deyenne replied.

"I killed him!" Deyenne hissed. "He was weak and foolish! He wanted to let you leave us! He wanted us to be alone again!"

"That's why we can see you now," John said, as everything seemed to click into place. "He limited your powers, so to speak. That's why you had to connect to help me heal the others and stuff." Something in the flash of images she had shown him came back to John. Something one of the others had said to the twins before they were banished. They had not been trusted and so their power had been dimished to that of only one, which was then to be shared. But now Deyenne had taken back that power some how and that scared the crap out of John.

Teyla looked horrified. "How could you kill your own brother?"

Deyenne looked amused. "He was weak and stupid. He was content to stay here forever in this way. To alone in this place. I am tired of being alone. You will stay," she told them. Then the glow became a flash of bright light and she was gone.

"Crap," John muttered, right before his knees buckled.

**THE END...of part 12**


	13. Chapter 13

**AMONG THE RUINS...part 13**

He felt like he was moving through mud, only he knew he wasn't really moving at all. Which was rather creepy, John thought. Knowing that he wasn't awake, yet he was aware. Knowing that his body wasn't moving, yet he felt like he was rocking through thick waves of mud. Or maybe it was his thoughts that were sluggish. He lacked the energy to care about that.

What he did care about was the fact that he was pretty sure he wasn't alone inside his head, and tha was really starting to freak him out. The other presence made him feel confused and somehow achy and like there just wasn't enough room.

It made him feel cold as well. Cold as if his blood was turning to ice in his veins. He could feel himself shivering and he didn't have a clue how to stop it. Although maybe getting rid of the presence would help. So to that end, John tried willing it to go away. When that didn't work he decided to order it to leave. When that didn't work he gritted his mental teeth and shoved the damn thing out. Which hurt like hell, made him shake harder, but at least he was alone again before darkness claimed him.

"Colonel, can you open your eyes for me?"

He knew that voice. It was Beckett's voice. A good voice. So John made the attempt to peel his eyelids open. But he had to blink hard to bring the good Doc into focus. "Wha' happnd'...?" he croaked out. Then something hit his bottom lip and John realized it was a bottle of water. He lifted a shaky hand to help steady it as he took a drink. The blessed coolness eased his aching throat.

Carson was eyeing him with concern as he handed off the water bottle to Teyla. "I was hoping you could tell me, son," he replied. "One minute we were facing down Deyenne and the next minute you collapsed at our feet. You've been out of it for six hours."

"Oh." John hadn't expected it to be so long. Shifting experimentally, he realized he wasn't lying against a bunch of pillows. Instead he was leaning against a solid bulk. Turning his head he wasn't as surprised as he should have been to see Ronon smile at him. Looking down at himself, John realized he was cradled between Ronon's legs and a that three blankets were tucked over him. Which meant he was surrounded in blessed warmth between Ronon's body heat and the blankets. He also realized that Ronon's strong arms were wrapped around his waist. Not tight, but they were tense. In fact, he could feel tension radiating from the Satedan, more so than his body heat. "What's going on?" John demanded. Because it was pretty damn weird that Ronon was just sitting there, cradling him. Which meant something had happened and they were damn well going to tell him what it was.

It was Teyla who answered him. "You went into convulsions, John," she said gently. "And then you were shivering and at times screaming in pain and then trying to hurt yourself. So Dr. Beckett felt that Ronon would be able to help warm you and keep you from doing harm to yourself."

That was not what John wanted to hear, so it took him a moment to digest it and respond. "Has Deyenne popped in again?" he asked.

"No." Carson looked worried about that fact too.

"I think she was in my head," John stated, and he almost laughed at the reactions from Beckett and Teyla. He could feel Ronon's reaction as the body he was leaning against almost started vibrating, and the heavy arms around his waist tightened almost painfully. John winced and poked Ronon's forearm. "Um...I think I'm okay now, big guy. So we can peel apart now." He tried to shift forward, helpfully, only to find himself half lifted as Ronon stood up, then carefully desposited against the pillows this time. John had intended to get out of bed himself, but didn't move a muscle in that direction when Carson started fiddling with the blankets and glaring at him. Since he wasn't feeling all that great, John figured it couldn't help to rest for now. It wasn't like they were going to get out of here without a plan of some kind.

Teyla moved to his side, perching on the edge of the bed. "What do you mean she was inside your head?"

John sighed, ran a hand through his hair making it stand up more, then tried to explain. "It was like I wasn't alone. I wasn't totally out of it or totally awake and I could tell there was someone with me. I shoved her out."

"That can't be good," Ronon interjected, succinctly.

"No, it's bloody well not!" Carson exploded. He grabbed John's wrist, almost viciously, taking his pulse.

What that was going to do, John didn't know, but he figured maybe playing doctor helped Carson in the stress relief department, so he let it go for now. He looked at Ronon. "Were we cuddling the whole time I was out, or did you try to see if we can make it out of here?"

Ronon snorted at that, then shook his head. "I didn't go but Teyla did."

John turned to her. "And?"

"I was stopped within two hundred yards, no matter which direction I went in. Every conceivable way out of here is blocked." Teyla kept her tone soft, but it was obvious she was angry by the glint in her eye and her body language. She looked wound up tight as a spring.

"I'm guessing that no one will be able to get in either," John mused. Not that he really wanted them to try. He was pretty sure it would mean they would be trapped as well, or they'd get sick and die. Deyenne was becoming way overly possessive of his team. Which was something he needed to put a stop too, and fast.

Knowing that the others wouldn't like what he was about to do, John didn't bother sharing it with them. He was just going to do it. So he tugged his arm free from Beckett, cleared his throat, then called out, "Hey, Deyenne! Come out, come out, wherever you are!"

Carson gripped John's shoulder. "What are you doing, Colonel?" he demanded, sounding both worried and scared. A combination he did even better than McKay.

"I'm getting us out of here," John calmly lied. He would have said more but just then Deyenne made her appearance.

In a flash of glowing white light that made them all shade their eyes. She focused her attention completely on John. "Did you need something?" she asked, sweetly.

John nodded. "I need you to let my team go home." He heard the protests the other made and tuned them out. "What do you say, Deyenne? Can we make a deal? They go home and I stay with you. For as long as Iive. Although you do realize it won't be for all, right? I mean, I won't live for ten thousand years."

"You will live," Deyenne countered, moving closer to him, and nearly shoving Teyla out of the way to do so. "We will join when the time is right and you will live forever, John."

"I'm not really sure I want to live forever," he replied. And the way Deyenne was acting around him was starting to freak him out. Sure she was thousands of years old, but she still looked like a teenager. But John was going to play this out for now. Whatever it took to get his team back to Atlantis, he would do.

Deyenne reached for him, pressing one hand to his cheek. "I will show you things that you cannot even imagine, John. It will be wonderful for both of us."

Ronon decided to break them up by pulling John away from Deyenne. "Like hell it will!" he snarled. "We're not leaving without Sheppard!"

"Easy, big guy," John countered, shrugging Ronon's big hands off his shoulders. "I'm in charge here so it's my decision who stays and who goes. And I say you guys all go. Got it?"

"No!" Ronon could be one stubborn bastard when he wanted to be. Which, apparently, was right now. He had his arms folded across his chest and if looks could kill, Deyenne would have disintegrated on the spot.

John shifted out of bed, feeling far too vulnerable just lying there. But even on his feet he wasn't half as imposing as Ronon was. Which he had pretty much gotten used too, when he was feeling himself. But feeling like crap, achy, and creeped out by a teenaged, whacked out, ascended person, John wasn't feeling up to dealing with Ronon going against orders. But glancing at Carson and Teyla, he could see they were ready to side with the big guy. Maybe he should have told them the plan ahead of time, he just figured Deyenne would be listening in on them. Which meant he had to convince his team to follow his orders, like them or not. "You're going home," John stated, before turning back to Deyenne.

She was smiling at them, and glowing brighter than before. "They are free to go, John," she replied.

"Good." John managed a somewhat genuine smile, then he moved to her, reaching for one of Deyenne's hands and shivering at the contact. "I'd like to see them out, if you don't mind. I won't have peace of mind if I don't see them go through the gate."

"No!" Deyenne pulled away from him, shaking her head. "I won't let you leave. I can't go with you, you know that. And if you leave you won't come back!"

John could feel something cold wrapping around him, making him shiver. Maybe it was her anger. Anger he didn't want directed at his team, so he would have to pull off an award winning performance right now. "I'll come back," he promised, not even twitching at the lie. He didn't owe Deyenne anything, so he refused to feel guilty about lying to her. "You keep your word to let my friends go and I'll keep mine to come back to you."

Deyenne looked ready to refuse, but instead she moved to him, gripping John's face in both hands and suddenly surrounding them in a misty silver glow.

John could feel her pushing into his mind, trying to connect with him. He knew what she was doing. Trying to catch him out in a lie. So he projected what she wanted to see. He pretended to want to be with her, to be excited about the future. He conveyed his sincerity, hoping against hope that she couldn't interpret the lie, and then the pressure in his head was gone, as was the light and John felt his knees buckle.

Strong hands caught him, lifting him, settling him back on the bed. When they got back to Atlantis, John was going to have a long talk with Ronon about carrying him around like a child. For now though, he just wanted the pounding ache in his temples to go away.

"What have you done to him?" he heard Carson fling the question at Deyenne.

"I had to know if he was being truthful," Deyenne replied, her tone soft with regret. "I did not want to hurt him. I will for you to tend him and in the morning I will let you go."

John wanted to ask if he could still go with them, but Teyla beat him to the question.

"And will Colonel Sheppard be allowed to go with us?"

"If he is strong enough," Deyenne replied.

John opened his eyes in time to see her mist away. He wondered if that was part of why she had connected with him, in the hopes of making him too weak to make the journey. She was going to be disappointed, because he was going to make if he had to ask Ronon to carry him.

Carson was eyeing John with worry dark in his blue eyes. "How are you feeling, Colonel?" he asked.

"Like I got run over by a semi," John replied. "Got any tylenol?" He wasn't surprised when Carson handed him a packet and a bottle of water. John swallowed them with gratitude, then he looked at the faces surrounding him. They showed varying degrees of anger mingled with concern. "I need you guys to trust me," John said, willing them to see that he had a plan and they needed to follow him without question.

"We do trust you," Teyla replied.

Ronon leaned in and rumbled, "But you're coming back with us, Sheppard. Got that?"

John grimaced, but didn't reply. Although that was his Plan A. All of them going home. Plan B was him staying behind and the others going home. He liked Plan A better.

Carson had a plan C right now. "Get some sleep, Colonel," he ordered, dragging a blanket over John and pretty much tucking him in. "We'll talk in the morning.

Since he was too tired to argue right now, and his head hurt fromt he simple act of breathing, John gave in and closed his eyes. Drifting into a restless slumber.

**THE END...of part 13**


	14. Chapter 14

Well, I'm baaack! Yeppers. To finish this. RL has been part of the reason this took so long for me to finish. That and the fact that I just dropped it because it basically SUCKS! But it drives me nuts not to finish things, so...I've finished it. Thanks for hanging in there. In the future I'll probably just do ep tags or one shots. Any long/epic fics will probably be with a co-author like Kodiak or Titan!  
Welcome to the end.

**AMONG THE RUINS...part 14**

A tickling sensation in his head brought John abruptly into consciousness. It took a moment for him to realize that what he felt was Deyenne. It creeped him out to the point where goose bumps broke out on his skin, so John pushed her out of his head and erected a mental shield to keep her out. He felt her disapproval, but ignored it. He wasn't going to let anyone play around in his head without his permission. Still, he didn't want to piss her off either, so as he sat up he forced a smile and whispered, "Head hurts."

In that moment, Deyenne took solid form and knelt beside him, her eyes aglow with concern.

Unfortunately, Carson was right next to John and his hearing appeared quite acute, since he started hovering immediately. "How much pain are you in, Colonel?" Carson asked, brusquely.

"Doable," John replied, trying not to have to tell the truth. He hadn't been lying that his head hurt, just that Deyenne had caused it. Although, keeping the mental shields that locked her out into place, were adding to the throbbing pain in his temples. At the same time, he didn't want to be totally honest about how much he hurt, because then Carson would become too much of a mother hen. John's only concern right now was getting his team out of this place and safely back to Atlantis.

Right after he used the bathroom. The need had him rising to his feet, only to be stopped by Carson's hand on his arm. "Need the facilities, Doc," John drawled, jerking a thumb in the general direction of the door.

Carson made a face, and dropped his eyes, looking a bit embarrassed. "Of course you do," he harrumphed. "But first I want you to take some tylenol. At which point he handed over two tablets and a glass of water.

John considered refusing them.

"I know you're in pain, lad," Carson admonished. "Just take them already!"

"Um...thanks." John figured it wasn't a good sign if he couldn't properly hide how he was feeling at this point. So he took the pills then bit back a moan as he shambled off to the bathroom. He was fully aware of Ronon shadowing him, he just ignored it. Once inside he closed the door and took care of business. Moving around helped loosen stiff muscles, but he felt achy as he washed his hands and splashed cold water on his face. He wished he hadn't looked in the mirror when he took in his drawn and pale face.

Heaving a sigh, John hung his head. He was tired. Tired of hurting, tired of being trapped here, tired of the pegasus galaxy in general. He didn't often think of Earth as home anymore, but in this moment he rather wished he was back at McMurdo, doing nothing more than playing shuttle pilot with helicopters.

A banging on the door startled John out of his thoughts. He knew who it was. "Be right out, Carson!" he shouted, and instantly regretted doing as the throb in his temples went from banging to stabbing. Leaning against the counter, John took deep breaths until the pain eased back down to doable. Then he made his way to the door and opened it.

"Are you okay, lad?" Carson asked, reaching for John's arm and pulling him back towards the bedroom.

"I'm good," John replied, because he couldn't afford to give any other answer. He also couldn't let himself be put back to bed. He might feel like shit, and Carson might weigh more than him, but he was still the soldier and took only a bit of deft side stepping to free himself from the Scotsman's grasp.

Carson stuttered a protest." Colonel Sheppard! You need to rest!"

John gave him a smile, but said firmly, "I'll rest when you're all back safe in Atlantis." He then turned his back on Carson to focus on Deyenne, who has moved to face him and was smiling. John smiled back. It was time to pull off his making it up as he goes along plan. "Can we go now?" he asked her, because he really was ready for them to go home.

"You do not look well, John," Deyenne replied, eyeing him with concern. "I think you should stay here. I will free the others as promised."

"You're just afraid I won't stay," John challenged her, and her reaction told him he was right. Deyenne was afraid he would find a way to leave with his friends. She was right to be afraid. John would sacrifice himself for the others, if he had too. But if there was anyway at all for all of them to make it back to Atlantis. Then he was going to do everything in his power to make that happen.

Deyenne made another attempt to enter John's mind. "I must feel the truth," she replied.

So John let her in, just enough. He let her see the truth he wanted her to see. Controlling Deyenne was easier than John had expected. What he wasn't ready for was the heady rush of sensation. He felt dizzy and disoriented at first, but he soon figured out how to bend her to his will. He didn't like doing it, but he could apologize later.

Only Deyenne wasn't going to make it easy on him after all. She fought back, fury fueling her own strength, as she tried to rip control back from him. John felt her anger and her fear, then he felt something white hot and burning. He was pretty sure he cried out as pain rippled through his veins, and he hoped his friends wouldn't interfere. Not now. Not when he was so close to gaining control.

But the pain was overwhelming and it took John felt like he was dissolving into it. He saw his life flash before him and he wondered if she was going to kill him after all. But then it hit him what Deyenne was trying to make him do. She was trying to force him to ascend.

_"I love you," Deyenne whispered, and the words echoed in his mind._

_"I'll stay with you to save my friends," John replied, and he meant it. But he let her know the whole truth. It was only fair. "I will never love you, Deyenne. To me you are just a child. I feel for you and I know that you are lonely, but I can't fix that. I don't want to fix that."_

Agony flared again and John felt himself falling. He feared that this was it, that he wasn't strong enough and Deyenne would force him to ascend. But as quickly as it had come, the pain vanished and John felt his very solid body hit the floor hard. Darkness swirled around him, but through it he heard Deyenne whisper,

_"Forgive me..."_

Then there was silence.

"Sheppard?"

John winced at the sound, trying to force his eyes open enough to see Ronon's face. He failed in his attempt. He wanted to tell the big guy he was fine, but he couldn't find the energy to speak. He heard the buzz of other voices and felt himself being lifted, then everything faded to black.

OoO

Shouting brought him back to awareness. Shouting and pain. Every muscle in his body ached and being jostled about wasn't helping. John managed to peel his eyelids open enough to realize he was being settled on a gurney. Then Carson was looming over him. "Wh-what..?" He managed to force out.

Carson understood. "I'm not exactly sure what happened, lad. Thought we'd lost you for a minute there, then there was a flash of bright light and Deyenne was gone. So we headed out of the ruins and nothing stopped us this time. Lorne and his team are here and we're going home."

"Good," John whispered, wincing as the sound echoed too loudly in his head. "Need Ronon."

"You need to rest," Carson protested.

John made the effort to glare at Ronon. "I'll rest...after." He knew he wouldn't have a choice, right now he felt weaker than a new born kitten.

Then suddenly the Satedan was the one looming over him. "What do you need, Sheppard?" Ronon rumbled.

"Blow...blow the place to hell," John blurted out, only it sapped whatever energy he had left and he was barely able to stay conscious long enough to hear Ronon's reply.

"Consider it done."

John managed to cling to consciousness long enough to hear a series of big booms. He was pretty sure he was smiling as darkness claimed him.

OoO

Three days passed in pretty much a blur of whispered conversations, moments of foggy awareness, ripples of hot pain followed by soothing coolness, and the sense of being safe and watched over in a good way.

It was the end of the third day when John woke up enough to smile at Rodney who was sitting beside him, head bent over his laptop. "Hey," John croaked out.

"Hey." Rodney didn't look up for a minute, then he was out of his chair, almost dropping the laptop. He looked surprised, but happy, and he set the computer down and reached for the ever present glass of water.

"Thanks," John croaked again, and took a sip. It eased his throat. He took another sip, noting that his hand was trembling a bit, but also realizing that his head no longer ached. At least not bad enough to bother him. It was more like a residual ache. The same for the rest of him. He shifted about, with a feeling of satisfaction, until he caught on to the fact that he had a catheter.

Rodney wasn't paying attention, he was bellowing for Carson.

Who showed up a moment later and began a check on John. "How are you feeling, Colonel?" he asked, as he took vitals and did a general appraisal of his patient.

"Better," John replied, handing over the water and snuggling down into he pillow. "I'll be better still when you remove certain objects. He was including the IV line that was taped to the back of his left hand.

"The catheter can go now," Carson allowed, but the IV stays in till tomorrow.

John figured that was fair enough, although he wasn't happy about the procedure, or Rodney's ramblings outside the curtain while it was being done. The moment the covers were back over him, John demanded, "Shower and scrubs."

Carson chuckled. "After you eat, if you're still awake."

"Okay." John wasn't going to argue since Carson was being so agreeable. And he was determined to be awake. "How is everyone?" John asked, including Carson into the question. They were all back, which was great, but he needed to know they were okay in every way.

"We're all doing fine," Carson assured him. "I made everyone, including myself, rest when we got back."

Rodney came back inside the curtain, scowling. "Which means he sedated us into oblivion!"

Carson quirked an eyebrow at Rodney. "You were complaining at the time," he reminded him.

"That's not the point," Rodney scoffed.

"When is it ever?" Carson teased.

Which made John happy, because this is what he liked seeing. Everything back to normal. Or what passed for normal in his world. "What's for breakfast?" he queried, because he suddenly realized he was starving.

Rodney snorted. "You mean supper, and a late supper at that."

"Oh." Which would explain why no one else was around. Usually he woke up to a roomful of people surrounding his bed. "Turkey sandwich then?"

"Soup and toast," Carson countered. "I'll have it brought to you straight away, and I'll let Elizabeth know you're awake."

Rodney moved to follow him out. "I'll tell Ronon and Teyla." He looked over his shoulder at John. "Be back in a flash."

John nodded, feeling content. Content enough to slip out of bed and head for the bathroom, snagging a pair of scrubs on the way. Content enough to listen to Carson, who was standing right outside the door, berate him when he was through. John just continued drying his hair with a towel, the other hand patting the scrubs he was so happy to have on, while he shuffled back to bed. He didn't even mind Carson hovering over him and mothering him by tucking him back in.

At which point his soup and toast arrived, followed closely by Elizabeth. A moment later Rodney arrived with Ronon and Teyla in tow. So John ignored supper for a few minutes, while he greeted his team and his boss. Then Carson made them all fall back so John could eat.

"Good to have you back, John," Elizabeth said, as she watched him down his meal.

"Good to be back," John replied, after a swallow of soup. It was chicken noodle, not his favorite, but it tasted like heaven.

Elizabeth nodded. "I think I gained a few dozen gray hairs, worrying about the lot of you. Don't do that again, okay?"

He grinned at her around a mouthful of toast. They both knew he'd get into trouble again, be it his fault or one of his team or just plain old circumstances to blame.

The other's chatted, filling him in on what he'd missed while gone and sleeping, and by then John was finished with dinner and almost ready for a nap. Almost. He knew there would be questions about what had happened to Deyenne.

Rodney didn't disappoint. "She ascended, didn't she?" he blurted out, the moment Carson took John's tray away.

"I don't think so," John replied, feeling a wash of sadness. He hadn't had to think about it since it had happened, but he knew what he'd felt. "I think...I think she obliterated herself. I don't think she could ascend on her own, or she would have done it before we came." He didn't add that she had tried to make him ascend. John figured she had planned on blending in with him if possible, which he would discuss with Rodney at a later date. A much later date.

"Why would she obliterate herself?" Rodney looked flabbergasted at the very thought.

John shrugged, because he didn't have the answer to that one.

Apparently Teyla did. "Out of love," she replied, looking at John and smiling warmly. "She loved him enough to sacrifice herself."

"That's ridiculous!" Rodney scoffed. "Besides which, why kill herself, love or not? She could have just let us go."

"She did let us go," John interjected. "The only way she could." He realized that Teyla was right. He'd known it because Deyenne had said it, he just hadn't wanted to accept the truth of it until now. A sad truth that Deyenne wouldn't have been able to let him go free any other way. "She asked for my forgiveness before she...uh...went." John felt a bit embarrassed and he was uncertain how to explain any of this. Because the bottom line was that it was his fault they had nearly been trapped in the ruins for a lifetime.

Teyla touched his arm. "It was not your fault, John."

He nodded, knowing he would believe it some day. The acceptance made easier by the fact that his friends didn't blame him. "I think she was sorry about what happened," he continued. "I could feel it." As he spoke, John stifled a yawn.

"What your'e feeling is exhausted, lad," Carson stated. "You need to rest." He waved his hand at the others. "Everyone out and to bed. You can chat with the Colonel in the morning."

John didn't even protest for once. He was that tired.

Rodney lingered for a moment. "Chess after breakfast?"

"Sounds good." John managed a grin then let his eyes close.

He drifted off gently into warm darkness, dreaming of Deyenne and Dahvi walking hand in hand through the corridors of Atlantis.

**THE END**


End file.
